


The Road So Far

by purpleskiesandcherrypies



Series: The Road Series [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: ALL THE FLUFF, Angst, But it’s to Dean and it’s so good, Cunnilingus, Dean is in denial, Dean’s a real gentleman, F/M, Face-Sitting, Fluff, Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied Sexual Content, Loss of Virginity, Lovey Dovey at times, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Pining, Oh God so slow, Oral Sex, Pre-Stanford, Pregnancy Scares, Slow Burn, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-07-07 18:05:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15913479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleskiesandcherrypies/pseuds/purpleskiesandcherrypies
Summary: Life had never been easy for her and she cursed the day the monster took away her parents. John had found her, crying in her crib. He wasn’t the monster and took her home with him, raising her as one of his own. Drilling her and shaping her into someone she probably would never be, had she not been raised by him and his boys.At the beginning of the story, Reader is 16. Dean is 22.--------**Read the Second Part of the series now: "The Road Ahead"**





	1. Chapter 1

They’ve been in Bumfuck, Montana for 8 weeks now and she wished that things will get better. John’s been hunting on his own lately, leaving her and Dean to look out for each other. Well, his exact words were _“Dean, take care of her, you hear me?”_  in which Dean answered with _“Yes, Sir.”_  like he always did. The only exception was, that he didn’t. 

Every time she comes home from school, Dean would greet her, telling her that either the food is in the fridge or throw a couple of crumbled notes at her, telling her to  _“get whatever the fuck girls want to eat, just make sure you eat. Lock the doors, watch the salt lines, go to sleep.”_

He would be out in under two minutes, heading to his job and then probably winding up at a shady bar to drink his sorrows away and maybe drown them some more in a blond busty bimbo. He’d come home, reeking of stale beer, cigarettes and sometimes sex, before he tucked himself into the twin bed next to her and drift off to sleep.

He wouldn’t know that she’s still up. Not like he would care. He didn’t care about anything anymore since the day Sam left. She would be lying in bed, wide awake and think about how things could have gone so wrong. They were so close. Sam had left for Stanford 3 weeks ago. The family, as she knew, had never been the same since. John drowned himself in hunting and Dean is trying to escape in his job because he was tired of picking sides.

Life had never been easy for her and she cursed the day the monster took away her parents. John had found her, crying and helpless in her crib. He wasn’t the monster and took her home with him, raising her as one of his own. Drilling her and shaping her into someone she probably would never be, had she not been raised by him and his boys.

The delicious scent of coffee filled his nostrils when Dean opened up his eyes. She was already showered and was standing at her bed, getting ready for school. He could smell the faint perfume, vanilla and something flowery and then he wondered when she started to wear perfume. When did she even have the time to buy it but then he’s not been a very good brother lately, not since Sam’s gone. 

She’s sitting on her bed now, rubbing lotion onto her legs and Dean watched mesmerized. Watched, how carefully she applied the white cream on her tanned hairless legs and start to massage it up and down. It doesn’t help that she’s in her tank top and boy short panties. The ones he brought back for her from the store because it was on sale. She wanted thongs and Dean chuckled because the day Dean would bring her back thongs  _“would be the day hell freezes over. So, never, capiche?”_ He hung up the phone before she could protest and threw the pack of boy shorts panties into the cart.

Now, he doesn’t know if that was a good idea either. He stared at her some more through his eyelids, pretending to still be asleep and hoped that she won’t notice. And he sure as hell hoped that she won’t notice the boner that gets bigger by the minute and Dean doesn’t know how things could get this far. She’s not that chubby 10 year old girl anymore. She has in fact, grown into a beautiful teenager.

“Are you awake?” She asked him, her voice faint and she sounded so tired.

“Hhm?” He asked, clearing his throat before he turned himself onto his stomach in a way to tell her that he wants to stay in bed a little longer and also to hide his growing boner. He tilted his head to the other side so that he doesn’t have to look at her. Or maybe that she couldn’t look at him and see the pink color on his freckled face.

“Dean, why have you been so distant?”

Dean could hear that her voice was shaking and he knew that she’s probably on the verge of crying. Oh god, he can not stand hearing her cry and she knows that. He turned his head back to be able to see her and yep, he was right, her eyes were so teary and he wondered if she’s seeing anything at all.

“Y/N. I’m not distant.”

He lied but still trying to assure her that he hasn’t been what she accused him of. Dean could see the tears rolling down her cheeks now and automatically lift his blanket, allowing her to slip in next to him on the already too small bed. He remained on his stomach, because he really didn’t want her to know that he’s sporting a morning wood so big it hurts.

She lay down next to him and he pulled her close. They often spend nights sleeping in one bed back in the days when everything was still simple. She’d sometimes share with Sam or him. She could always sleep better when there’s someone next to her, holding her and protecting her from reoccurring night mares. It always seemed right and they only stopped a couple of years ago, when John deemed it as inappropriate for teenagers of different genders to sleep in a tiny bed together. Dean knows that she doesn’t sleep well on her own and there were nights when John’s away, that Sam and him would sneak her into their beds to calm her down.

Dean rested his head in the crook of her neck and smelled a mixture of perfume and body lotion radiating off her soft skin. His head felt light and he doesn’t know the other feeling. Maybe it was the smell of home. He draped his arm across her body and she put her hands on his arm before drawing circles on it.

“I feel so alone, Dean. Of course I can talk to Sammy but it’s not the same. I miss you. I miss talking to you, having you bring me to school and picking me up. John won’t be back until the weekend. And, I don’t know. I feel like it doesn’t matter if I’m here or not. Maybe I should just go? You’d have someone less to worry about.”

He thinks that his heart just stopped beating for a minute there. He had no idea how she felt, being too absorbed in his own misery that he forgot the people he cared deeply about. No, this won’t happen. He can’t let it happen. Dean already lost Sam, he doesn’t want to lose her too.

“Shhh..” He tried to calm her down and gave her shoulder a peck. “Baby, it’s ok. I got you. I’m sorry, alright? Things will get better.”

Then it dawned on him. “You talked to Sammy?”

“Yeah. Every day. He would call to check up on me before I go to bed. You know, he already told me that he does have a place for me if I want to leave you guys.” 

Dean was angry. He just wasn’t sure if the anger was aimed at Sam or at himself for neglecting the only good thing that was still in his life. Y/N.

“Did you take on his offer?” He tried to stay calm.

“No, I told him that I would need to finish school first.”

“Good girl. Also, you’re too young. I don’t know if I would let you.” He buried his face deeper, hiding his face that was probably blushing because he just felt a big wave of blood rushing to his head.

“Can we go back to before Sam left? I want my friend back. My brother, my partner in crime.” She tilted her head a little and pecked his cheek.

If she would know that Dean would give her everything he had and more, just so she would stay. But time’s running out. Two years. That’s how much time he has before she too, would leave him and his father behind. He didn’t want to think about it.

“We can and we will.” He murmured against her neck. “How about you finish getting dressed and I’ll jump into the shower and drive you to school?” He didn’t see it but he could feel her smiling. God how he missed seeing her smile. He was sure that he hadn’t seen her smile since Sammy left and a wave of guilt had hit him, hard.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of weeks had passed and things start to get back to normal. At least as close to normal as they could get. Until John comes knocking.

A couple of weeks had passed and things start to get back to normal. At least as close to normal as they could get.

Y/N was glad that Dean paid her more attention. She had missed that. She had missed Dean, if only he would know how much she loves him and how much she literally needs him to survive. 

Sam had left and took a part of her heart with him. The other parts were damaged and bruised but Dean had patched it up in a way only he could. He took it upon him to bring the joy back into her life. Maybe he also did that for himself because it was a good kind of distraction. He drove her to school every morning and even waited to have dinner with her before he went off to work. Things are really looking up, to say the least. 

She was still talking to Sam every day. He’d ask her about Dean and John and sometimes, when Dean would be home she would put Sam on speakerphone and let Dean listen. Dean would make a face but deep down, she knew how happy Dean was to hear Sam’s voice. It eases him to hear that all’s well and fine in Stanford. She had to keep the conversations with Sam between Dean and her though, because if John would know, he’d rip her another hole and that’s not something she would like to risk.

John came back one night, sooner than they expected him, announcing that they should start packing and throwing stuff away, which they don’t need anymore because they’ll be leaving in a week.

Dean could see the mood of Y/N changing. Literally see the corner of her lips going from pointing up to pointing down in a matter of seconds. She began to bite her nails, her mind already thinking about the move. Another one. The 4th alone this year.

“But the science fair?” Y/N had asked, even though she knew that her hopes and dreams were worth jack. She was looking forward to the fair, had worked so hard to get a spot there.

Dean didn’t know about that. He always knew that she’s a brainiac but even he didn’t know about the fair and the project she had going on and now and he began to feel sorry for her.

“They would have to have that fair without you, kiddo. I’m sure that there’ll be science fairs and classes in the new high school as well.” John said it as if he already knew and maybe deep down, he too hoped that he was right.

Dean watched her sit down on her bed, the light has gone out of her, he could see. Defeated, she rested her head on the headboard and closed her eyes. He was sure that she would cry but she didn’t. 

* * *

***

That night, when Dean went out to have a drink with John, he tried to talk his Dad out of moving. Normally he wouldn’t do that, but it’s not for him, so it’s worth a shot. Well, maybe it was a little bit for himself too.

“Y/N and me could stay here. She could finish the semester at least.”

John chuckled at the thought of his barely legal son taking care of his foster child.

“I mean it, Dad. I have a job. She can stay and do the fair and if she wants, we will join you after?” Dean reasoned with him.

“No.”

“But-”

“The answer is no, Dean.”

“She didn’t choose this life, Dad. You decided it for her. You shouldn’t have taken her in. There’s foster care. At least she could maybe have had a life she deserved?”

“Her father was my best friend, Dean. Do you think he would want me to give her up and have other people decide about her future? It was my duty! And what do you think? It’s not all rainbow and cupcakes in the foster care system. You have no idea!” John was so angry, he was spitting right in Dean’s face and that’s when Dean knew that he didn’t stand a chance. He was disgusted at himself.

John got a call and left an hour later. Again. Only telling him that he’ll be in touch and will be back in time for the move. 

* * *

***

Dean finished his drink and when he came back to the motel, she was already asleep. He made sure not to make any noise when he walked through the door and locked it behind him. He tip toed his way to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, taking an aspirin because he couldn’t risk having a hangover when he has to drive her to school in the morning.

He stripped himself off his clothes, and slipped into the empty bed, pulling the blankets up and tried to sleep. But sleep won’t come easy tonight. He was too wound up. An hour passed and he was even counting sheep by now, all to no avail.

It was when he reached his 327th sheep that he heard rustling in the bed next to him and he tilted his head lazily, peaking through the eyelids. Dean had to blink a couple of times when he catches the sight of her hand underneath the thin blanket, motioning up and down, left and right. Her blanket was moving in the place where it shouldn’t be moving, at least not when you’re a teenage girl. She’s touching herself, he knows because he’s not _that_ stupid.

But she shouldn’t be doing this. Well, at least Dean doesn’t really like to think of her doing it. Not Y/N. She’s innocent, for god’s sake. He’s not the best example of teen innocence, he knows that but this was his Y/N. His good girl, doing very bad things.

Dean watched her carefully. He watched her chest rise and fall and how her breathing got faster. Oh god, he could see her biting her lip, swallowing down the moans that were trying to escape her pink lips but one of them did find a way out and the sound of it went straight to his ear, through his body and down to his cock. And Dean wants to turn away, covering his eyes and also maybe his ears but then she would know that he would still be awake and also he doesn’t want to move because he wants to see her come undone.

He watched her arch her back, biting down her lips as her eyes flutter. The heels of her feet dig into the mattress and she lifted up her hips, circling them in a figure eight. She came with a squeal of his name and shaking legs and Dean thought that he had never seen anything more beautiful.

His dick was twitching disturbingly in his pants and he so damn needed to relieve himself too. It had been too long. Dean hadn’t touched a girl since they had that talk and he didn’t even touch himself because he was too busy and too absorbed in making her life better.

And then it hit him. He was too busy marveling at her that he almost missed that part where she came with a squeal that carried his name. _Did she think of him? How long had she been doing that already? And why him?_ So many questions.

She opened her eyes and looked around to see if he was still sleeping and Dean couldn’t close his eyes fast enough. He tried to even out his breathing, pretending to be sound asleep as she got out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom. 

* * *

***

“You hear me, son?” John asked, as he noticed that Dean wasn’t paying attention. He had returned in time for the move.

Dean raised his eyebrows at John, hoping that he would repeat what he just said. He had a hard time concentrating lately. The memories of that night still so fresh.

“I’ll drive tomorrow. You guys sort things out and follow me the next day. We’ll meet there.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Where are we going?” She asked the question no one dared to ask. Not that it would matter. It never did. It’s always the same. They would settle and when she would finally find connections and god forbid – friends, John would barge in and take them to the next damn place in god knows where.

“California.” John replied dryly.

“California?” Her eyes lit up and also Dean had to blink twice.  He knows that she was hoping that maybe they’ll see Sammy. And hell, he probably did too.

“Not that California. California, Missouri. There are a couple of nests and it could take us a while. Be prepared to stay a little longer than usual.”

Great, she thought. So they’re moving from Bumfuck, Montana to Bumfuck, Missouri. Same shit, different name.

“Yes, Sir.” Dean replied and he could see the side eyes she sent him. It burned a hole into his cheek. 

* * *

***

John left early in his truck and Dean and Y/N were standing at the door for their last instructions.

“I’ll call you for the address.” John yelled before he got into his truck.

Dean waved duly and she was already inside and started to boil water for the coffee she knew Dean would need and god knows she needed it too because sleep had gotten less and less since she’d been given the news of moving again.

“Cut that crap. I’m taking you for breakfast.” He put his hand on her shaky ones and she nearly dropped the pot.

Then, Dean just knew what to do. He pulled her into his arms and let her cry into his chest, soaking his new shirt but in that moment, he couldn’t care less. He felt guilty for all this. First Sam left her life and now she’s stuck with him and John. Two basket cases who were trying to do the right thing, even though it might mean that they’d hurt others around them. 

* * *

***

“You haven’t touched your food, Y/N.” Dean was chewing at his bacon pretending that he was hungry but really, he’s not. Gotta lead a good example, even though the bacon felt dry and there’s an invisible lump in his throat and he didn’t even know if he could swallow the bacon past that.

“I’m not that hungry.”

“C’mon, you need to eat, don’t need you to faint on me. It’s our last day here. What do you want to do? Tell me and we’ll do it. I’ll even let you skip school.” He was really trying his best to cheer her up but she’s not having it. If she only knew how hard he’s trying for her.

“Nah, it’s ok. I want to go. I need to say goodbye.” The weak smile she gave him almost broke his heart.

“Alright, then school it is. I’ll pick you up and then it’s you and me time, I might even let you drink. What do you say?”

“Dean?”

He wasn’t prepared for the counter question to be honest.

“Huh?”

“Why can’t you ever stand up to John?” She was looking at him and he could see that it was a genuine question. A question he doesn’t have an answer to because honest to good, he wished he knew.   
“I mean, you never say no to him. All you say is _yes, sir_.”

“I don’t know. Because he’s right?”

“Is he?”

“Look, Y/N. Dad.. John, might not be the best father. He might never win a father of the year award but he loves _you_. He loves _us_. And you can be sure that he’s trying his best. I don’t question his motives because I know that he only has good intentions.” He swallowed hard, dry tongue brushing against his lips.

Dean could tell her so much more. Could go on and on but he won’t, maybe also because he doesn’t know how long he could defend John in front of her. She saw everything. Hell, she grew up with them. She saw the arguments between John and Sam and sometimes it wasn’t pretty.

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yeah, Ok. Now drive me to school.” She said and was out of the booth.

Dean knows that it’s not ok but he’d take that fake ok of hers because it’s still better than her leaving.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their last day before the move, Dean wanted to spoil her, treat her right. But then something happened between them and Dean is so screwed.

That afternoon, she waited in front of her school, because Dean promised he’d pick her up. He was running late and already, her mind starts to wander and when Dean didn’t show up after a half hour, she began to panic. All the crazy thoughts were in her head and they were screaming at her.

Did he forget that he was supposed to pick her up? She could probably let it pass if he really forgot but what if something else happened? What if he ran into trouble, what if a monster got him and worse, what if he’s dead? The fear of losing Dean was always there and after Sam left, it was her constant fear. It’s her worst nightmare. She doesn’t tell anyone, well, whom could she confide in, other than Dean? She can’t possibly walk up to him in the middle of the night, telling him that the nightmare that kept her away from sleeping is the one in which she’s losing him.

“Hey, Y/N, do you need a ride?” Lydia asked her when she saw her crumbled on the pavement, waiting for Dean. Y/N thought she probably must have looked pathetic since Lydia is not really someone she talked to in the time she was here. Lydia is one of the popular girls and probably will end up being prom queen, quite the opposite of her.

“No, thank you. I’m waiting for someone.” She smiled a weak smile to show Lydia that she has it under control.

“A special someone?” Lydia grinned in mockery and she was probably wondering who in their right mind would give her a second glance.

“Yes. Very special.” Y/N said, grinning at the thought of Dean.

And as if on cue, Y/N heard the impala rumbling from afar until it came to a halt in front of her. She never understood how John, and now Dean, could gush over the car so much. In her opinion, it wasn’t even practical to hunt monsters. You could hear the motor from miles away and she always had to laugh and tell Dean that the monsters were probably gone already when they hear the impala rounding up.

*

“Wow, your boyfriend?” Her friend (was it a friend? He really can’t remember) asked her and Dean was anxious what she would answer, his heart beating out of his chest and he doesn’t even know why.

“Something like that?” Y/N whispered to Lydia before she got in, leaving the other girl stunned and in awe.

“Your boyfriend?”

“You wish.” She joked and winked at him.

Well, maybe he did. At least deep down? But he knows how wrong that would be. Would it?

“Sorry, needed to stop at a store and I didn’t know which..” Dean stopped mid sentence because it didn’t matter; he didn’t need to explain himself and also mainly because he caught himself giving away too much information. 

She wouldn’t care why he was late anyway, she always understood, even if it’s the lamest of excuses. Dean doesn’t know how he deserved her, to be honest. “What’s the plan?” He asked her as he took a look at his watch. They still had 3 hours to kill before he has to leave for the last night at his job. 

“Just back home. Maybe we could watch a movie?” Is what she said but actually, she meant that he should keep driving until they were gone; until they were on the other side of the country and start a new life. A normal one at that.

She nervously tugged at her plaid shirt he didn’t notice she was wearing this morning. He was sure that it was his. He’s been missing that same looking plaid for weeks. But it doesn’t matter now. It never did. What his is hers. It had always been this way. And honestly, he wouldn’t wish for it to be any different.

“Sound cool. I have to leave in three hours. You think you’re going to be ok, kiddo?” He knows how much she hates for him call her that and sometimes it’s just really fun to wind her up. But today she won’t have any of it. She stayed calm which is unusual and it made Dean wonder if he had picked up the right girl from school.

“Oh, before I forget, here.” He tossed a velvet box to her and she caught it. Hunter’s reflexes.

“Dean. You didn’t have to.”

“Don’t keep your hopes too high, kid. Look what’s in there first.” He smirked and stopped at the red light. “But hurry, before it gets green again.”

She opened the box to reveal a silver necklace with a heart pendant and already she had teary eyes. It was then that Dean knew that he did buy the right thing.

“It’s not my birthday.” She whispered.

“No, but I want you to have something to remember that you belong.”

The lights turned green again and Dean kept driving.

“Open up.” He said and she did, with shaky fingers.

There were tiny little pictures on the inside. On one side there was a picture of her parents. She didn’t remember much and she doesn’t know how Dean got ahold of that picture. It was one from the hospital, where her parents were smiling into the camera with their arms wrapped around her.

The other picture was of Dean, Sam and her together as kids. They had their arms around her like her parents.

“Is that why you were late?” She looked at Dean but she couldn’t see very well. The tears start running down her cheeks.

He couldn’t say anything and he didn’t need to. She swung herself at him and hugged him, almost made him lose control of the car. “Careful, kiddo!” He said and kept one hand on the wheel to stay in the lane. He let her snuggle into him, holding her while she sobbed into his chest.

* * *

***

“Tadaaa.” Dean was even using his jazz hands to show her what he did to the TV. He turned it around and it was facing the beds so they wouldn’t have to sit on that uncomfortable worn out sofa. He even made popcorn while she took a quick shower and then smiled to himself when he saw her grinning. He loved when she was smiling. It makes everything a little less hard. The life they were thrown into, kind of forgotten for a second every time her face lights up with a beautiful smile.

They settled on her bed (he let her choose), his back resting against the headboard. Her head resting on his broad chest, it doesn’t matter that her hair was still damp and his shirt would be wet because all that mattered was that he slowly began to realize that in this moment, they only have each other and Dean wouldn’t want to lose her or change his life for the world. Not anymore.

He let her choose the movie, some chick flick. Not something he would choose, obviously, he’d rather die than watch it but he’s not watching anyway. He much more enjoyed having her so close. It has been weeks if not months since he let her close again and right now he can’t even remember why he pushed her so far away when she’s like the air he needed to breathe.

Her head rising and falling with every breath he took. She smelled fresh. Of soap and water and then there’s a hint of _home_. He doesn’t even know how home smelled but if someone would ask, he could say it with all honesty that _home_ smelled like Y/N. If she should ever part from him, he knows for sure already, that he’ll be lost.

His beating heart must have something calming to it because it wasn’t long until she drifted off to sleep and Dean didn’t dare to move, even a muscle. Instead, he let her sleep and stroke her head. It was then, when the movie ended and he felt the left side of his body start to fall asleep with the feeling of being run over by millions of ants, she began to open up her eyes and blink.

“How long have I been asleep?” She lifted her head in shock and saw that the credits were rolling on the screen.

“Pretty much the whole movie.”

“And you let me sleep on you? Dean, your shirt’s wet. Hope you enjoyed your chick flick.” She sat up and patted at the fabric that clung to his chest, grinning.

Dean wanted to get up too, adjusting his spine but his whole arm had fallen asleep by now so when he wanted to get up, he toppled over, falling on her and she almost fell down the side of the bed. 

“I..uh..sorry.” He murmured, holding her tight to his body as best as he could with the other arm, trying not to let her fall off the bed. His face inches from hers and he knows that he should pull back, get off her but he just couldn’t.

She stared at him, her eyes fixed on his and Dean could swear that he felt her coming closer. How easy would it be to just jerk his head forward, crashing his lips on hers and feel her so close like never before? No, he can’t. That’s not what siblings do, is it?

As Dean debated with himself, her lips were on his and he was caught by surprise.

She had never experienced anything like this. A strange feeling in her belly, something fluttering or even tingling settling deep down and she did it because she felt like she needs to do it and when she felt his lips on hers, it was better than she even imagined. And when Dean kissed her back, all doubts were forgotten and she got braver. Her tongue wandering out, licking across his bottom lip and she heard him groaning before he broke it off.

“I-I can’t.” He whispered and she didn’t know if he was aiming those words at her or at himself.

Dean said this, but in reality he wanted to keep on. Keep on, kissing her. Keep on, feeling her. Keep on, tasting her. But he can’t. It wouldn’t be right. She’s too young and he’s a nutcase who should know better.

He tried to shift his weight and carried himself up with his other hand. Up, until he was off her and he didn’t know where to look so he awkwardly looking around, turning his head left to right while he got up. He could feel her looking at him but he didn’t dare to look. Dean picked the nearest shirt he could find and changed his shirt, turning his back on her.

When he’s done he looked back. “So..uh.. I need to go in now. Is that ok?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Don’t wait up.”

“I won’t.”

He was out the door like a Tornado and he knew that he needed to go. It was the right thing to do. But why did it feel wrong? Dean rested his head on the door, closing his eyes. He could still feel her lips lingering on his and he could still taste her chapstick that tasted like cherry and he really wanted to walk back in there but he just can’t.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean ended up in a bar because he didn’t want to go home and then things really didn’t go as planned.

That night, his boss had him leave early, since there was nothing else worth start doing when he’s going to be gone tomorrow. Dean dreaded going home. Dreaded to see her, because he’s so fucking screwed. 

After he walked out on her that late afternoon, he stayed there for a while and he could literally feel his mind and heart debating on what to do. His heart telling him to go back in while his mind was trying to talk some sense into him. He could hear her shuffling inside and maybe she even cried, because he swears to God, that girl weeps easily. 

But mind won over heart so he got into his Impala and drove to work. He was too early because he wanted to get out of there as quick as he could, so he ended up sitting in the car until his shift started. He was wondering if Y/N knew that he had left too early.

It was the right thing to do, right? He had to get out of there before he would do something he would regret?

But then Dean thought about it and he began to wonder if he would really regret it. 

So now, after he finished work earlier he still wouldn’t want to go home and he found himself in the bar around the corner from their ‘home’ and he knows he shouldn’t be here but he also knows that he can’t go back. He needs some liquid courage first and by the state he’s in, lots and lots of it.

He ordered two glasses of Whiskey and downed one in one go before he took the other one and strolled over to the booth he decided he wanted to hide himself in to sulk but then he spotted a woman near the jukebox and she obviously needed help in choosing a song because he’d noticed that she’s been standing there a while.

“Need help there?” He asked and smiled his million dollars smile at her. A smile that could break a girl’s heart, he’s been told. He once told that to Y/N and she ended up in a fit of laughter, making him feel like an idiot. But that smile could land him a girl anytime so he kinda stuck to it.

“I got it.” She smiled back and that’s when they got to talk. Because the moment she set eyes on him, they never left and in the end, she let him help her and they end up choosing Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” because it’s probably the only song she knew but Dean didn’t mind.

She was in town with her sister, just passing by. Her sister felt sick so she stayed in their hotel and now she’s here, trying to have a good time on her own. And then they were drinking and Dean doesn’t know how many he has had because he lost count.

The next thing he knew was that she had him pinned against the wall at the back of the bar and kissed him like she meant it. Her hands were everywhere and Dean just went along for the ride and when she palmed against his dick and gave it a comforting squeeze, his hips buckled up and she was grinning like she’s winning.

“We could go to your place. Have some fun?” She whispered against his ear before she claimed his lip again, sucking in his bottom lip before letting it go and looked at him with wanton eyes and Dean was sure that he’s probably going to have the night of his life.

“Can’t go to my place, sweetheart.” He said and he knew then, that he screwed that up too.

She stopped whatever she was doing that made him feel so good and stared him down and Dean let out a disappointing groan at the loss of contact.

“Why? Do you have a girlfriend?” Oh wow, kitty’s angry.

“No.” He couldn’t look her in the eye.

“Oh my god. You _do_ have a girlfriend! Why didn’t you tell me before I fucking wasted my night on you?” She was gone before he could even tell her that no, he doesn’t have a girlfriend but yes, he does have someone he really cared about in his room right now and thinking of it, it’s probably best if he just goes home.

He adjusted his pants and walked straight out the back door, not looking back. He’s going to feel it tomorrow and Y/N’s probably going to rip him another one when she sees that he’s hungover and she has to drive the Impala. She always hated driving it. It’s too big, like a fucking ship she’d say and he would laugh at her before telling her to watch her language.

The more Dean thinks of Y/N, the more confused he’d get. He was angry and annoyed. At her and maybe at himself. He let her cock block him, that’s what makes him mad and the way he cock blocked himself with her, makes him sad, if not pathetic, even.

*

She started to read something but the words got blurry so she just put on her headphones and pressed play on her CD-player. She started to chuckle when she thinks that Dean would have none of it. He’s still sticking to his tapes, even though Sam and her were making fun of him constantly. Guess he’ll never change. That’s what makes Dean Dean.

Oh Dean. She closed her eyes, thinking about what happened. She really did make a fool of herself, didn’t she? The way Dean stormed out of their room, those green emerald eyes that looked at her in shock and disbelief. Y/N wished that she could turn back time. She would probably have done things differently. But maybe, she wouldn’t have. So, she’s here, and her thought wanders to Dean’s lips, smeared with the cherry balm of hers and then she felt it again. The tingly feeling sweeping through her veins, ending up at her core and she’s lost.

*

When he walked up to the motel, he could see a faint light through the thick curtains, telling him that the bedside lamp was still on. Maybe Y/N just forgot to turn it off, or she fell asleep while she was reading. He didn’t really think anything of it but when he opened the door and looked around, he felt like someone had punched the air out of his lungs.

Y/N was laying there, her eyes closed and her earphones on. But this is not the sight that shocked him. It’s more the fact that her hands were at it again under the covers and Dean couldn’t help but picture her warm hands brushing against her probably slick folds and these thoughts went straight to his dick and Dean huffed out strings of profanities.

Well, maybe he was wrong but he saw how her face was flushed, shaded with the most beautiful shades of pink and the way she bit her lip. And maybe, just maybe, her moans gave it away too. Dean’s not an idiot, he could put two and two together and there he was, trapped between the door and her with nowhere to go.

Not that he wanted to go anywhere, because his attention was on her. Only her, and he couldn’t stop thinking how sexy she looked when she’s wearing her sex face. A face he had seen on the women he fucked in the past and hell, all of them were not as sexy as she is right now.

When Dean came to his senses again, he wasn’t sure what he should do next. Should he leave? Should he stay? But it seemed like he didn’t need to worry about that because she opened up her eyes. They were staring at him, big and wide.

“Shit! Dean!” She shouted, as she scrambled up into a sitting position on the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin.

He stammered, not sure what to say. “I – I’m sorry.” But was he really?

“Why are you home so early?” It was kinda late, but she was used to Dean coming home way later than tonight.

“Didn’t have to work the whole shift. Why are you still up so late?” He tried to counter her with a question on his own, but that doesn’t help the fact that he just saw her pleasuring herself and now his dick is aching for attention. “Should I go, I mean, do you need some privacy?”

He only realized then, that he still hadn’t moved and was still leaning awkwardly against the door, his hand trying to shield his bulge from her.

“No, Stay? Please?” She put her headphones away and Dean didn’t know what he should do so he just strolled closer. His mind was blank and the only thing that worked was his bow legs that took him to the place where he probably wanted to be the most.

“Of course.” He sat down on her bed and she was patting at her blanket nervously.

Dean could smell her on her fingers and he would love to just take it and lick it from her, desperate to taste her. Right now, Dean needed all the willpower there was to not attack her and take what he needs. She’s just a kid and she’s his ‘kind of’ sister, damnit.

Her hands cupped his cheek now and the smell of her musky and sweet fingers got stronger. Dean swallowed down the excess saliva that built up in his mouth and clenched his jaw. It got him aching for a taste so bad and he bit down on his bottom lip, almost drawing blood.

Before he lost himself in her, he jerked his head back and cleared his throat, maybe too loudly. “M.. ‘M gonna take a shower.” And he got up on his feet too quick and turned around as fast as lightning. He bolted for the bathroom before she could even say anything.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean’s trying to avoid Y/N to protect her but maybe she takes it the wrong way.

Y/N fell back on the bed, letting her head hit the headboard in the process, hard. Maybe that’ll get some sense right back into her. Why does she always have to make a fool out of herself? In her defense, she really couldn’t know that Dean’s coming back earlier than usual and hell, she has needs too? She’s a teenager, for fucks sake. 16 going on 30 because of the way she grew up. She’s too grown up for her age. Sam laughed at her when she talked to him tonight. He said that she should go out more, mingle with people her age because if she sticks to Dean, she’ll end up just like him. Sam made her promise him that she’ll open up more after they move. That she’ll blend in with the crowd and that she’ll try to have a good time.

She was afraid to tell Sam that it’s already too late. Besides, she was never the one who made friends easily. Y/N couldn’t possibly tell her ‘friends’ that they couldn’t study at her place because her place is a shitty motel room that she was sharing with her brother, who’s actually not really her brother and that’s probably why she developed feelings for him, could she? She can’t possibly tell them that the one person she can rely on, is someone she grew up with but is not related to her by blood. She can’t tell them, that he’s the only one who she cares about because she’s so fucking scared of losing him.

Thinking about it makes her head spin and she realized what a basket case she became. And now, after what she’s done, she’s certain that Dean will never look at her the same way. They could never go back to what they were, could they?

Maybe leaving him would be less hard for her? Because then, she would be the one leaving, not the one who gets left behind. Like Sam did, and Sam’s doing just fine. Sam also told her again that his offer still stands, should she ever change her mind about moving or even if it’s only to clear her head. She cried into the phone tonight and sometimes she really wished that she wouldn’t have to cry that much.

Y/N turned off the lights and twists and turns in her tiny bed, closing her eyes and trying to sleep but it won’t come. Maybe she shouldn’t have taken a nap in the afternoon. That faithful nap on Dean’s chest. It was nice though. Dean’s heart was beating steadily and it calmed her down in a way she never felt before. 

Laying there, she listened to the faint sound of the shower and when she glanced over to the clock on her nightstand, she could see that Dean’s been in there longer than usual. Is he avoiding her again? Showering until he could be sure that she’s going to be asleep once he steps out?

*

He took his time in there, far more than he usually would and she probably knew that he’s trying to stretch this out. He wants to change this badly, the whole situation. He wants to tell her that it’s ok, that he actually felt the same. He wants to tell her that he just can’t because she’s too young and he wants to protect her, not bringing her down with him. He wants to be able to give her what she needs and shield her from all things bad but he just can’t. Not right now.  
  
Dean rid himself off his clothes and stepped into the shower. She probably also thinks that he’s showering but really he just needs to rub one off. It has been too long and he’s probably going to explode if he won’t do it. And who knows when the next time will be that he catches her doing something, well, very dirty.

It took Dean longer than he thought it would, even though he hasn’t done it in so long, even though he’s been hard since he left the bar. He closed his eyes and tilted back his head, so that it rested on the dirty bathroom tiles. Images of Y/N touching herself under the covers came to his mind and he didn’t know that he could get any harder but he did and it was almost painful.

He could still taste her soft lips on his and that’s when his mind started to wander off completely.

He pictured her face, all flushed and colorful as she closed her eyes in concentration. She was panting hard and he pictured her parting her lips that were swollen from arousal with her not so skilled fingers of one hand to get to her bud with the index finger of the other hand while she bit down her lip. And then he began to imagine how her fingers glide through her slick covered clit and he tightened the grip around his cock.

Dean doesn’t even know if she already had sex, although he hoped that she didn’t, because he’d be hunting that guy down, that’s for sure.

He imagined her pushing a finger into her pussy, one fingers would be enough because she would be so tight and anything more than one finger would probably hurt her too much and then all of a sudden, he was picturing himself doing this to her. He could see himself lying in between her glorious legs and burying his face in her delicious heat, his tongue taking a swipe at her pussy before he would dive right in, ready to lick everything up and get himself drunk on her taste and smell.

And then, Dean was gone. He came with his cock in his hand and a low growl of her name on his lips. He could see the water washing down the cum from his palm and watched it drip down the drain.

*

When he walked out of the bathroom shirtless and going commando under his jeans (because he forgot to bring a clean shirt and new boxers, obviously – probably shouldn’t have bolted in there in a hurry without taking fresh clothing with him), he caught a sight of her laying on her bed, facing the bathroom. As soon as she saw him, she turned herself around to face the other side.

Dean turned off the light of the bathroom off and the bedroom bathed itself in darkness. He needed a couple of seconds to adjust his eyes to it and walked slowly to his bed, careful not to walk into something along the way.

When Dean looked again, he saw that she had her eyes closed. He discarded his jeans and put on a clean pair of boxers before he slid into his bed and hoped that sleep will knock him out soon. But of course sleep’s not coming. Not soon enough.

After a while he heard her whimpering in her bed and when he looked over, he could see that the nightmares have returned. Y/N was frowning in her sleep and she gritted her teeth. The sound was worse than fingernails on a chalkboard and Dean knew what he had to do. He’s used to it. Used to this.

He got out of his bed and took the couple of steps over, scooching in next to her and put his arm under her head. He pulled her closer until her back was flushed against his body before draping a protective arm around her.

Dean smiled because he could feel how her body began to relax and then he too, felt a calmness in his heart.

*

Dean woke up with the sound of a door closing and immediately he sat up on the bed and took a look around. He’s hungover and needed a couple of minutes to realized where the hell he was.

When he came to his senses, he realized that Y/N was not next to him and a panic began to rise in the depth of his stomach. Dean scanned the room and saw that her belongings were gone and then he saw it. The note on the door.

_Don’t worry about me_

_Love you, Y/N_


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His head was pounding and his heart was beating out of his chest. Dean could feel that it got harder and harder to breath and he thought that he might pass out from adrenaline. Still, he needed to focus.

“Sonuvabitch!” Dean shouted out and hurriedly put on his pants but no shirt because he couldn’t find it and honestly, he couldn’t be bothered, because he was fighting against time, damnit. He was sure that it was her who closed the door and when was that? Two minutes ago? I couldn’t have been longer than that.

He didn’t even bother to wear shoes because damn he should really not toe them off and send them flying through the room next time when he’s drunk again.

Dean opened up the door to their room and ran out. He was panicked, scared even. His heart raced, cold sweat running down his temple.

He was also sure that John will never forgive him for letting her go. Technically, he didn’t let her go but that won’t make any difference in John’s books.

*

His head was pounding and his heart was beating out of his chest. Dean could feel that it got harder and harder to breath and he thought that he might pass out from adrenaline. Still, he needed to focus.

His eyes scanned the parking lot outside and when he spotted his Impala, his heart might just have skipped a beat because there she was, his little baby girl sitting in Baby, her forehead resting on the steering wheel.

Dean walked over and the pebbles on the pavement dug deep into the sole of his feet but he didn’t and wouldn’t care because all he saw was Y/N. She was still here and she probably doesn’t know how happy he is.

He opened up the door to the passenger’s side and slid in, closing the door as carefully as he could. He didn’t say a word, he didn’t want to upset her and also maybe because he didn’t know what to say. He was still panting but his body began to relax, waking up his other senses. All of the sudden, his mouth felt too dry and swallowing was hard. The light’s too bright too and Dean knew that there were some old discarded sunglasses in the glove compartment somewhere. But for now, he’s main attention should be Y/N.

“Shut up.” Y/N muttered, not looking up and he could see the tear stains on her jeans.

“Ain’t sayin’ nuthin’.” He mumbled to her and leaned back into the seat, resting his head because that too, felt too heavy at the moment.

“I really wanted to go, you know. Wanted to try to get to Stanford, visit Sam. Not permanently, just for a couple of days, a week maybe. Even left you a note and tried to be as quiet as possible.”

He’s not interrupting her. Letting her getting it out of her system and honestly, he was curious what’s going on in that pretty head of hers.

“Thought I’d drive to the next bus station. Park Baby there for you because I know how much you rely on her.”

She looked at him now, puffy eyed staring him down.

“But then I realized that I would only be running away from my problems. From you.”

Nobody wants to be the problem someone is running away from. And to know that, might just put a nasty dent on his heart.

“C’mere.” Dean spread out his arms, an open invitation for her to crawl in and she did, wet cheeks rubbing against his bare chest.

Feeling her cozying up to him was the best medicine ever and he held her tighter, not wanting to let her go. He knows that he probably reeks but she’s not complaining and he’s going to take that. He’s going to take anything she offers him, holding on to it like a lifeline.

“You should know that I’ll come find you. There’s no running away from me, honey.” He stroked her head, placing a peck on the crown of it. Dean said it more like a warning. Because he really would. And he would find her, no matter how far she running.

“I know. But still, I wanted to try. I would have called you on the way.” She muttered against his skin and it tickled him but he’s enjoying it.

“John would freak.” He chuckled at the thought and she joined him, even though the image of it is not really funny.

“Ok, let’s see. How far would you have come with Baby, that as soon as you would leave, I would report as stolen, by the way. How far would a 16 years old girl get with a car that is reported as stolen with a trunk full of weapons? Not to mention a glove compartment full of fake ID’s?” He painted the picture for her.

Dean let her out of his grip and opened up the glove compartment, fishing out his sunglasses and the box of their fake ID’s.

“Imagine I’m the police.” He said, clearing his throat and looked at the fake ID’s.

“Oh, look, fake ID’s, fake credit cards, you got anything that is real, Miss?” He talked in a higher voice and played a role of an officer.

“Uhm.. my boobs?” She looked up at him and smiled and Dean couldn’t suppress his laugh because even though she’s miserable, she still got some good comebacks and that’s what he loves about her.

“Wouldn’t get you very far. The next thing you know, Dad would have to pick you up from the station and you’ll be send off to stay at Bobby’s for good.” He knew that would happen and he knew that she wouldn’t like that and Dean heard her sigh in defeat. He immediately put his arms back around her, pulling her tight.

“Give it a try, Y/N.” His voice soothing as he brushed the tears off her cheeks with both his thumbs. “You’ve got plenty to look forward to. Your birthday’s soon too. And Halloween!”

She nodded at him, flashing him a weak smile and that’s when Dean knew that everything’s going to be ok again.

“Let’s go. But you have to drive. My head’s still pounding.” He said, sitting back.

“Uhm.. Dean?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t you.. I mean, I don’t know? Maybe want to wear something? And get your things?” 

* * *

***

The two days drive to the new place was more pleasurable than she thought it would be. Dean was in and out of consciousness the first day, nursing his hangover with lots of coffee and coke. He even wore his sunglasses in Gas’n’Sip’s whenever they stopped. Y/N didn’t want to tell him that he looked like a douche but Dean probably knew it already.

She smirked when Dean never left her side. He even waited outside of the bathroom because he was afraid that she’ll bolt on him again. But after a while, his closeness got really overwhelming, even for her. But she kinda understood where he’s coming from.

When she was driving, she could only use one hand to drive because he would hold on to her other hand, even when he was sleeping.

“Dean?” She asked him but he didn’t even stir. “Dean!” A bit louder and his body shot up into sitting position, his hand frantically searching for the gun in his jacket and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“What? What is it? Are we here?” He was so confused it’s almost adorable.

“No, but I kinda need my hand.” She said and only then did Dean notice, that he was still holding her hand tightly in his.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They settle and try to adapt to their new home as best as they can and this should be smooth sailing, right? At least that’s what Dean told himself.

When Dean took over the wheel again he could see that Y/N was relieved about it. She was having a hard time driving but maybe also because he was holding on to her hand the whole time. Who could blame him. He never wanted to let her go of her again.

It was weird; Dean never felt this kind of protectiveness before. Not even for Sam and Sam’s blood.

_Dean watched her grow up, had been the one who encouraged her to jump into the lake when she was five but then she slipped and broke her arm. All because of him and that was the first punishment he got from John for being neglectful. He had to go to bed earlier that evening while Y/N and Sam could stay up and watch cartoon before bed. But cartoons were for losers anyway and Dean didn’t even want to watch it. Or at least it’s what he told himself to not make it hurt so much. Before bed, she came into his room and Dean couldn’t even look her in the eye. The cast was so big around her small arm and Dean felt guilty all over again. She climbed into his bed that night, comforting him, when it should be the other way around. Since then, he never really let her get hurt again._

“You can go and take a nap in the back.” He suggested but she was having none of it.

She yawned and let herself sink lower in the seat. “Wanna keep you company.”

He could literally watch her falling asleep and Dean won’t lie. It was kind of cute. She rested her head against the door until it rolled off it and in shock, or maybe it was reflexes, her head snapped back into her neck. It probably was as painful as it looked.

“Put your head on my lap.” He said, opening his arms.

She hesitated at first but then she did, her head resting in his lap while he drove the last couple of miles and occasionally, he would stroke her over the head and let his fingertips travel over the soft skin of her cheeks, her jaws, her lips.

_“Dean, Dean! Look!” When she was ten, she walked into the bedroom with a plate of oddly baked muffins. If Dean wouldn’t have been smoking secretly in his room, he would probably have smelt them burning in the oven. John would have sent him off to Bobby’s or Pastor Jim for good if he knew that Dean took a couple of hours for himself to do what teenagers do, locking himself in the room to finally be able to be alone and not have to worry about Sam and Y/N. Before he disappeared into his room he saw Sam reading and Y/N was watching TV so he thought he would be good. But now she walked into his room, a plate of black muffins in her hands and a single candle on top of one of them. “Happy Birthday” she said with the brightest smile on her face and Dean wanted to scold at her, wanted to be angry but instead, he just smiled and blew out the candle before eating the damn muffin that contained half of the eggshells and had a burning aftertaste._

Dean could watch the beautiful sunset in his rear view mirror and he almost woke her up to witness this with him, but he thought better of it. Y/N was not someone to mess with when she gets woken up. It was a peaceful drive, one that calmed his heart and it kind of made up for stress of the last couple of days.

That was until she stirred in her sleep and turned herself around with her head still in his lap. She murmured something and Dean thought that she would wake up but she didn’t. She licked her lips and swallowed drily before she nudged herself deeper into his lap, her forehead now burying against his crotch and Dean shifted lightly. Part of him wants to wake her up but part of him wants to let her sleep.

 _Fuck_. Her nose was just right  _there_ , every bump in the road sends her head jolting around in his lap and her breathing was hot against his fly. Dean concentrated hard, on not to get hard. Her mouth was right there and her nose rubbing at the fabric with every mile. He put both his hand on the wheel, gripping it roughly until his knuckles go white while the pressure started to build up in the depths of his abdomen.

 _Jesus!_  He hoped that it won’t be long. Dean floored the Impala but still trying to stay as close as the speed limit would allow. Dangerously balancing on the line of the law. He didn’t need the attention of the police. Not when, as he told her before, the glove compartment was full of fake ID’s and the trunk is spilling of weapons.

When he rounded up the corner of the street that was supposed to house their new home, John was already waiting for them in the yard and Dean let out a sigh of relieve.

John stood there, waving with both his hands and Dean now woke her up, hoping that she won’t feel that the pillow she was sleeping on got awfully hard on the way.

Dean drove into the driveway of a house. A freaking house! And Y/N grinned giddily. Dean thought that if she would have a tail, it would be wiggling like a damn helicopter by now. He couldn’t help but be excited with her upon seeing her happiness. He just hoped that it would be their future home and not just some place where they crashed until the next shabby motel was free.

When they parked, she got out of the car immediately, hugging John and then he walked over to Dean and patted his shoulders.

“Everything alright, son?”

“Yes, sir.” Dean nodded, not really wanting to go into details on how he lost Y/N and how he found her again. That, Dean thought, is a story for when John and him would get drunk, then at least, he would not be angry at him.

“Is this what I think it is?” She squeaked deliciously and Dean was glad she jumped between him and John.

John turned to her and patted her head. “It sure is, kiddo.”

“Oh my god. Can I go in?” She was jumping up and down now and Dean suppressed his grin.

“Knock yourself out.” John said but she didn’t even wait for him to finish the sentence. She was already halfway up the stairs and Dean walked in with John.

They heard her screaming and Dean was alarmed and looked at John, raising an eyebrow, his fingers already grip around his gun but John just put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, calming him down. “Wait for it.” John grinned.

The next thing Dean heard was her screaming on the top of her lungs.

“I’m having my own room! Oh my god. I’m having a room to myself!”

And that’s when Dean laughed out loud and his Dad laughed with him. This is the moment he enjoyed. Happy Y/N could really make everyone smile. If she only knew how happy and she makes them for just being here. He really hoped that she’ll never think of leaving again.

* * *

*******

A month’s gone by uneventful. At least to Dean. Pretty soon he found a new part time job. Only part time because John had been including him in hunts more often than not. He had doubts of leaving Y/N on her own at first but John insisted on Dean joining him because he could use all the man power there was and Y/N told him over and over again that she got this. He should believe her, shouldn’t he?

She found new friends pretty fast and even had them over at the house too. All in all, it was a good start to a bright future.

They never got to talk about what happened back at the motel and it seemed like they both didn’t want to stir things up so they just kind of fell back into their old life.

When he’s home, he’d always check up on her before going to bed himself. She would leave the door open because she doesn’t like to have it closed. Dean wanted to crawl into her bed so many times, even if it’s just for some comfort after a gruesome hunt but he thought better of it. And then, when she would be standing next to his bed because she was driven out of her own by a nightmare, he would just scooch over and lift his blanket for her to crawl in. Dean would then carry her back and tuck her into her own bed, just so John wouldn’t notice.

One day, she came home and asked John if she could go to a Halloween Party and John said no before she could even phrase her question.

She was devastated so Dean took it upon himself to talk to John about it.

*****

Y/N really wanted to go there, not only because the cute boy would be there, no. But because she finally had the feeling that she belonged. Also it’s her birthday and she wanted to celebrate at the party with her friends.

When John denied her wish, she bolted up the stairs and barricaded herself in her room. She knew that if John says no, it usually stays a ‘no’ and there’s nothing in the world that could change his mind.

So like always, when something doesn’t go as planned, she buries her face in her pillow and sulked.

*****

It wasn’t long before Dean came up the stairs and sat beside her. He stroked her hair ever so softly before he began to talk.

“Guess what.”

She doesn’t want to guess. Dean will probably come up with some other plans but she really, really wanted to go to that party. She wanted to experience what kids her age do. She’s never been a normal kid, therefore she never got to do those simple things and this time, she really wanted this more than life itself.

“Talked to Dad. He’d let you go.” Dean couldn’t brace himself fast enough for the hug that he got from her. She flung herself at him, almost knocking him against the wall next to the bed. “Woah! Easy tiger.”

“There’s a ‘but’ isn’t it?” She looked at him, the back of her hand brushing away the tears that were wetting her cheeks.

“Yeah,” He said and he already saw her mood changing again. “I gotta bring you there and make sure that everything’s good. Then Imma pick you up. No later than midnight.”

All Dean heard was a shriek before he kissed his cheek and hugged him tight and Dean almost suffocated but if he would die from this, it would all be worth it.

*****

Two weeks before her birthday and the party, she was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep but it was always hard when Dean and John are hunting. She began to worry a lot and her mind wouldn’t stop thinking about all the possibilities that could happen. She probably couldn’t stand losing someone, again.

“Y/N! Some help here!” John kicked the door in loudly and screamed out for her.

Immediately, she bolted down the stairs but stopped in the middle of it. She froze at the sight before her.

Y/N’s heart was racing and she thought that her soul just left her body. Her mouth began to dry out and cold sweat was spreading on her forehead as her fingers gripped themselves around the railing of the stairs. A wave of nausea washed over her and she thought that she’s going to pass out any given moment.

 _Oh god, give her strengths._  She told to herself and then she closed her eyes for a brief moment, hoping that it was just another nightmare. She was hoping that she’d wake up and find herself in bed. Then she would tip toe her way across the hall to reach Dean’s room.

_Dean._

John was holding Dean up. She could see Dean slumping down in John’s arm as he balanced him over to the couch.

“Can I get a hand here, Y/N!”

John was panicked himself and she didn’t know what to do and let her body take control. Her mind was blank but her body took over. Wobbly steps descending the stairs in slow motion.

“Breath kid.”

She didn’t know if John said that to hear or Dean.

_Dean!_

She gulped for air and only noticed now that she had been holding her breath this whole time.

John took off Dean’s jacket and then he had his pocket knife in his hand. Y/N thought that he would do something stupid but he just cut through Dean’s sleeves and that’s when she came closer and could see the damaged that’s been done to Dean.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is hurt and Y/N helps as best as she can.

She hid her face in her sleeves. She also pinched away at her skin, hoping she would wake up but she didn’t.

_No no no_

“Y/N, go get the case!” John called out but it was just echoing in her ear. Everything got blurry and she didn’t even know where she is at this very moment.

“Y/N!” John was by her side, gripping her arms tightly and shook her out of her trance. “Look at me!”

And then she did, through her tear filled eyes and then she could see that John too, had tears in his eyes.  
  
“I need you to listen to me! Go get the case! Can you do that?” John’s voice was broken, but still firm and loud, just for her to hear him clearly.  
  
Y/N snapped back to reality and she nodded before she flung herself up the stairs into the bathroom, retrieving the first aid case from the closet and hauled it back down. That’s also a thing about growing up hunting. The first aid kit in other homes look tiny to this monstrosity. But it has everything they need and more. A life insurance as most hunters called it.  
  
She rushed to Dean and started to get to work. She’s done this so many times before and had watched Dean or John doing it on countless occasions but this time? This time was kind of different.  
  
Dean was in and out of consciousness, the gash in his left arm was spurting out blood but then she saw it. It wasn’t just the deep gash caused by the sharp nails of knife, it was a bullet wound that caused him so much pain.  
  
She looked over to John, raising her eyebrows demanding an explanation in silence.  
  
“Rufus kinda missed.” John knew that it could have been worse and he’s going to whip Rufus ass for that one, that was given.  
  
“Right. Next time I’m on a hunt with Rufus I might miss too.” Y/N was fuming mad, her hands were shaking uncontrollably when she tries to attend to the wounds.  
  
“Hey, Y/N. I’m gonna have to rush back, help Rufus. Are you going to be alright?” John knelt beside her, his hand placed on her shoulder, trying to calm her down in midst of the storm  
  
“I got this, John.” She answered, not looking up but instead focusing on the task before her.  
  
Dean flinched when she applied alcohol to the wound and he looked at her with hazy eyes. And then he smiled a weak smile at her.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“Shh.” She really didn’t need distraction.  
  
“It’s alright.” Dean reached around with his good arm and put his hands on her shaking one.  
  
That was when she broke down and sobbed against his chest. “Shhh.. I’m alright. I’m not going anywhere if you don’t.” His voice was a whisper and it could easily get lost in the darkness but she heard it clear as day.  
  
“I’m good. Ok.” She let out a deep sigh before she reached down to unbuckle Dean’s belt.  
  
“Woah! Careful princess, don’t you at least have to buy me dinner first?”  
  
The annoying look she sent him clearly shut him up but it still couldn’t erase the grin he has on his face at his own joke.  
  
Y/N took his belts out of the loops in one swift – for dean agonizing – motion and fold it together one time before she held it out for him.  
  
“This is going to hurt.” She said and Dean knew the drill. He opened his mouth, letting her place it there and bit on it.  
  
She then carefully proceeds to stitch him up. The stitches were not the worst. Dean cried out and almost bit his belt in half when she picked around in his bullet wound and pulled out the silver bullet. He was holding his breath and when she took it out, she immediately drenched the wounds with alcohol before she then put the bottle into Dean’s grabby hand and he took a large gulp.  
  
“Take these.” She showed him the painkillers and Dean opened his mouth for her to be able to drop them in before taking another big swig of the bottle.  
  
“Try to rest. Alright?” She packed the things and Dean looked at her, admiring how good she handled this. Better than if it would have been the other way around, probably.  
  
Y/N was about to go when Dean tugged at her fingers, squeezing it with his good hand. “Thanks.”  
  
One word can go a long way and he could swear that he saw the corner of her lips curve up into a smile but he couldn’t be sure because before he knew it, he was out.  
  
*  
  
Dean opened up his eyes, blinking away exhaust and sleep the next morning. He tries to get up, shift himself into a sitting position, grunting when the pain hit again. Soon he realized that something was holding him back from sitting up and only then, did he see that Y/N was slumbed next to the couch, her head resting on his thighs with an arm draped over him.  
  
He glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was already late. Y/N should be in school a long time ago.  
  
“Hey,” He lifted his leg a bit “sweetheart, shouldn’t you be in school?”  
  
She woke up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes before yawning. “Are you ok?” She asked him before she got up.  
  
“Peachy. Help me up here?”  
  
She reached around, hooking her arms under his good one and hoisted him up so that he was sitting on the couch and placing his injured arm on the arm rest.  
  
“Again; Shouldn’t you be in school.” He asked and she walked out of the room without answering him. He could hear her rummaging around in the kitchen, boiling some water for a coffee probably.  
  
“I’m not going.” She called out from the other room.  
  
“And why’s that?”  
  
“Have you looked into the mirror, Dean?” She held out a glass of water and some more pain killers for him to take. He took the water and opened up his mouth for her to drop them in again.  
  
“I can take care of myself.” He said as he took the sip and swallowed down the pills.  
  
“Yeah, you look like you could.” She snickered and walked out to the kitchen again.  
  
After she brought him coffee and something to eat, even though he insisted that he wasn’t hungry, she still made him eat and watch him swallow it until nothing was left of the cereals. She smiled at him before she put everything back to the kitchen and darted upstairs to take a shower.  
  
It would probably be the first time in hours that she left his side for more than two minutes. But then she returned again not even 10 minutes later, her wet hair wrapped in a towel and Dean was sure that the flannel she wore was his but he didn’t say anything. He much rather enjoyed having her next to him and when he opened up his arms, she crawled into his embrace, like it was the most normal thing to do.  
  
“Dad’s going to be mad if you stay home,” Dean said, placing a soft peck on the top of her head out of habit, breathing in the comforting smell of freshness “where is he?” It was just now that he noticed that he haven’t seen or heard of his Dad since he dropped him off here.  
  
“He and Rufus chased the Vamps throughout the night. They are having a break now before they want to blow it up today.” She said and wrapped her arms around his body, making him grunt out in pain.  
  
She shot up immediately, afraid that she could have hurt him but Dean pulled her back, letting her rest her head on his chest. “You could never hurt me.” He tries to calm her and then she tilts her head, looking up at him with that bright smile, Dean melts away. He placed a kiss on her forehead now and pulled closer to his body, as far as he could without hurting himself.  
  
“I probably reek.” he apologized sheepishly.  
  
“Yeah. Like death and everything in between,” she giggled faintly before looking up at him again “I can draw you a bath. Help you clean up.”  
  
Nope. Can’t do that, can he?  
  
“Uh..I can wait til Dad’s back.” He was blushing and he hoped that she couldn’t hear his heart beating faster.  
  
***  
  
“Happy Birthday.” Dean was sitting on her bed, waiting for her to open up her eyes to see the muffin with a candle sticking out of it.  
  
And boy had he been rewarded with the biggest smile on her face. She squealed happily, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissed his cheeks before she blew out the candle.  
  
“Did you make a wish?”  
  
“Yes.” She said, her hands already dividing the muffin in two and offered him a piece.  
  
“And?”  
  
“Can’t tell. Duh!”  
  
It was the day of the party as well and Dean had to go out assisting on the hunt before he would pick her up and drive her to the party. She was anxiously waiting for him in her new dress. He found her biting her nails on the couch when he got in and she jumped for joy when he finally turned up.  
  
There were lots of teenagers mingling around in the front, all dressed either slutty or scary and there was seldom something in between. She insisted on not dressing up because it was also her birthday and she wanted to shine as a birthday girl and not some slutty nurse. Dean can’t say that he’s not glad about it.  
  
He made sure that she got in ok and reminded her that he’ll be waiting outside at midnight and that she needed to be on time. “Behave, alright?”  
  
“I will.” She said, kissing him on the cheek before he left and he could see the eyes of the other kids on him.  
  
*  
  
Dean parked the Impala in the front and looked out. There was no sign of her yet but he was a bit early anyway. There were some teens lying in the yard, probably drunk off their heads and he only hoped that she really did behave.  
  
When midnight came and went, he began to worry and shifted around in his seat nervously. By ten past midnight, he got out of the car and slammed his door angrily before he walked up to the house.  
  
The sight that greeted him in there was madness. There were kids playing beer pong in the kitchen, kids lying around on the sofa or even on the floor, making out and he believed that he just saw a kid puking into the aquarium.  
  
Dean scanned the room but he couldn’t see her so he just walked into the next and the next until he found her leaning against the wall, caged between the arms of a boy in a Zorro mask. He saw that the boy was about to lean down and kiss her and that was when Dean saw red.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean pulled Y/N along with him, leaving the boy and her friends behind, not caring if he just made a fool out of himself. How could he care when he’s doing the right thing? Right? Right.

Dean sped up. He was literally flinging himself across the room, pushing teens out of the way and when he reached them, he shoved Zorro to the side, hard, his body hitting the bookshelf, sending some books flying. He grabbed Y/N’s hand and pulled her out, earning boos along the way to the door, but Dean couldn’t care less.

Y/N hit Dean in return, right on his injured arm and he flinched, but he never let go. He will never let go again if he had a say in this.

“Dean, the hell! What was that for?” She shouted at him, shaking herself out of his grip when they were out of the house and crossed the lawn to get to the Impala.  
  
“Well, you tell me?! What was that dude doing?”  
  
 _Giving me what you can’t_. She wanted to say, “I was about to get my freaking first kiss, Dean! Fucking hell! And you’ve just ruined that! You’ve ruined everything!” raising her hand, Y/N stormed past him and got in the car, closing the door extra hard and loud and waited for him to follow her as she sat there sulking.  
  
“He’s never going to talk to me again, after this. You know that, right?” Her voice barely a whisper as she stared down at her fingers. They were nervously picking at the excess skin around her nails and Dean couldn’t help but notice the drops of tears falling into her lap. She said it like she cared. It was just a stupid boy and he was more a substitute for Dean. The main focus of her desire. He was all the things she wanted Dean to be.  
  
“Oh honey, you can be glad I didn’t fucking knock him out! I held myself back, alright? All because of you. If I had any saying in this, that fucker would be on the floor clutching his face! Hell, he wouldn’t even know why he ended up in the ER!” Dean growled angrily, turning on the ignition and drive away from that damn stupid place in a hurry.

Dean concentrated on the street ahead, trying to shut out the whining beside of him but when it wouldn’t stop, he tilted his head to her “You wanted that? A jerk all over you? He probably wanted to get more than a kiss, too. Would you want that, huh?!” He didn’t know why he was asking all these questions that he didn’t want to even hear the answers to.

“Sweetheart,” his spoke calmer now, soft even “you can do so much better! You deserve all the good things in the world!”  
  
 _Says the guy who wouldn’t even know what a good thing is if it hits him in the face and knocks him out._ Y/N wanted to say.

She hit his arm again, thankfully it was his good one. “You don’t even know him! And yes! I wanted that, alright? I’ve never been kissed! I wanna experience all this! I wanna kiss, I wanna make out! Hell, I want to have sex. What do you know? You have it all the time!” She knew that he hadn’t had it for so long too but still, that’s not the point. She was so mad, she practically spat out her words in a furious slur.  
  
Dean pulled over and turned off the engine before he stared her down.

“We kissed.” _Didn’t we?_ He wanted to add and was wondering now if they really did or he just made it all up in his head but when he looked closely at her, he could see that she was blushing. Even the dim light couldn’t hide that and now it was him who made the first move.

He put his finger under her chin, lifting them up so she could look at him.

She couldn’t look away, even if she wanted to. Stupid Dean with his stupid sinful lips staring her down and she was lost.

Dean trailed his fingers up her face, cupping her flushed cheeks, slowly letting his thumb caress over her soft face before he inched closer. He brought his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her towards him.

  
Then he felt it, her plump and soft lips on his; he tastes her lipstick and he couldn’t care less if it was kissed-proof or not. He waited a couple of seconds, his lips only lingered on hers, waiting for her to pull back and slap him across the face but that slap never came. Also she didn’t pull back one bit. Instead, Y/N kissed him back, her tongue trailing along his bottom lip and he gladly let her in, losing himself in the taste of her.

The kiss was all sloppy and inept at first but Dean didn’t complain because it doesn’t matter to him because it’s Y/N. He takes what he gets and it’s so much more than he ever hoped for.

She’s a quick learner, though, her velvety tongue soon embraced his and their tongues danced together a slow dance, in and out of his mouth, sliding fervently against each other and a soft whimper escaped her lips when he pulled her closer, pressing her face into his, deepening the kiss. When she sucked in his tongue, Dean forgets his own name.

She leaned into him and he pulled her whole body closer with his good arm.

_Closer. Closer._

So that in the end, there was no place for her to go than straight into his lap. When she broke the kiss, their forehead rested against each other, their breathing mingled in soft moanings and then they smiled. He licked his lips, tasting her on it, as if he still can’t believe what happened. What _will_ happen.

Dean let his fingertips brush against her flushed face, tucking the loose strand of hair behind her ear as he studies her, taking her in. His green orbs taking in every bump and every pimple she tried to even out with her make-up. He loves them nonetheless.

If this is going to stop now, he wants to remember every single detail of it. But he doesn’t want it to stop. He’s not going to even think about stopping now because he’s in too deep. She sucked him in, drowning him in the deep water of her perfect warm ocean and Dean doesn’t think that there’s a way out. _Not that he wanted to get out._

Y/N felt self conscious with Dean’s eyes on her and she grinned shyly, nervously tugging at his jacket. Her fingers trailing up to cup his cheeks, feeling the growing stubble underneath her palms. Her hands trailing along the freckles, trying to connect them under the faint lights of the streetlamps.

She could feel him swell up in his pants and then ground in to it, not on purpose but she ended up giggling when Dean let out a moan of discomfort - _or was it comfort?_ \- before she heard him groaning out strings of profanities. Then she ground into his bulge again, this time it was deliberate. Dean eyes were darker and then he bit his lips, those sinful lips that she wanted _on_ her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader turned 17. Will things change now?

For a brief moment, Dean forgot everything around him. It was just the presence of Y/N on his lap and her beautiful eyes, staring at him with so much want. And then it was there again, her hips rolled so nicely over his straining bulge, giving him that much sought after friction that he needed.

“Jesus, Baby girl. Thought you only wanted your first kiss?” He whispered hotly. It wasn’t really a question, more a statement that he hoped she would deny. Dean craned his neck forward, chasing her lips, wanting to indulge himself in her sweet lips again but she tilted her head and his lips landed the soft spot below her ear.

“I also said I wanted sex.” Her proposition came with another roll of her hips, making Dean groan against the soft shell of her ear, her voice was low and raspy and full of lust and everything in between and it made Dean’s head spin.

This is all a Dream, right? He’s just going to wake up in his bed with a freaking boner. Dean hoped that it was all real. But it’s too good to be true.

She craned her neck and Dean placed open mouthed kisses along her throat, carefully sucking in the delicate skin that was riddled with goosebumps, while her hands cradles his head, stroking his short hair and pulling at them lightly, guiding his head where she wanted him to be most and Dean just let her.

His mouth reached her chest planting kisses and nibbling at her skin on his way down but then Dean made himself stop and looked up at her. He could hear her heart beating fast or maybe it was his. Dean didn’t know anymore, he was too lost in this moment that he wants to cherish forever. Burn it into the back of his head so he would have a safe place to go to when things turn sour.

Y/N noticed his hesitation and then her hands let go of his hair and Dean moaned at the loss because it felt so good to have someone stroking his head, it was the first time in years that he felt like someone is taking care of him for a change. She grabbed his face between her hands and tilt his head up and pulling him towards her and then she was kissing him like she means it while she ground harder into him, making Dean groan out and bite down on her lip and he could taste iron on his tongue.

“Fuck, Y/N. I’m sorry.” He murmured but she didn’t mind and just licked the blood off his lips before she sucked her bottom lip, drawing all the blood out that made its way to the surface. Dean couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt hitting him. “This is wrong isn’t it?”

But she didn’t answer, or stop. Bending down, she kissed her way from his cheek to his ear, sucking in his earlobe and Dean thought that he died and gone to heaven. But in reality he knew that he’ll go straight to hell. Riding shotgun on this wave of sexual tension.

“If it’s wrong, why does it feel so right, Dean?” She whispered against his throat and then she lapped at his flesh, sucking it in and Dean was sure that she’ll leave a mark and he didn’t care. He would even wear it with pride.

He could feel that his crotch got damper by the minute, the more Y/N ground against it and his cock was straining hard against the brass of his fly. He’s so hard, he could cut glass and he didn’t know how long he could hold himself together.

It has been too long because he didn’t want to screw around, not even touching himself, all because of her. If she only knew, but Dean thinks that she knew because he’s been home a lot since they moved here. He only went to bars with John after a hunt or to talk about things she shouldn’t hear and even then, he didn’t came home drunk once. He’s too afraid that he’ll lose her again because of his antics.

“Fuck, Baby.” He wrapped his hands around her tight, and pulled her body down on his bulge while he thrusts up to her, meeting her halfway and he knew that he should be gentle. She’s most definitely, as far as he knows, never done anything like this before, but Dean’s body got so desperate and he god damn needed the friction. Needed her.

The sound of the phone broke their amorous adventure and Dean’s hand fumbled with his pants while she got off him to allow him better access to the pocket of his pants, and Dean saw the bitchface Y/N gave him that reminded him so much of Sam.

“Dad!” He said into the phone too loud and trying to straighten himself, as if John could see him now, ever the good soldier.

Y/N was rolling her eyes at him and Dean shot her an apoplectic look that kinda turned her on. Just thinking of it makes her laugh.

“Yeah, no, I picked her up. Will go home now. Say hi,” Dean held the phone to her and she chirped a “Hi John” into the phone under her breath.

Dean then took the phone back and Y/N listened to him talking to John.

“No, she didn’t drink,” he raised an eyebrow at her and she shook her head. “nothing that she shouldn’t have done, Sir.” Dean closed his eyes and let out a sigh because that didn’t apply to him.

“But Dad, that’s a three hours drive for me. I wouldn’t be there before sunrise.” Dean argued and Y/N was stunned because she rarely see Dean talk back to his Dad like this.

Well, Dean didn’t want to but he had to. Not only is he still injured but also because he really didn’t want to leave her tonight. He’s been a shitty companion in the past and if he would drop her off to go help John, he’d let the one person down that means the most to him.

“Alright, see you tomorrow. Bye.” He hung up and rest his head on the steering wheel.

She didn’t say a word and he was thankful for that. He needed a moment to himself, think about the night, about what happened, about what will happen.

That was a sign, wasn’t it? A clear sign from above, telling him to stop and back out, in the form of a phone call from his Dad.

While Dean was still wondering if the call was a sign or not, Y/N moved over and gripped him, pushing him back into his seat before she straddles his lap again and before Dean even knew it, he had his arms wrapped around her body with one of his hands on her neck, pulling her into him as if he wanted to crawl into her. Her tongue sliding alongside his, kissing him all expertly now.

Her hands found a way under his shirt, trailing up his firm body and she lingered a little longer, letting her fingertips stroke over his lean stomach, all muscles and flesh that she hadn’t noticed before. She pushed and pulled in all the right places while she started to ground into him again.

“Please, Dean,” she whimpered, chuffing hot air into his mouth “please.” Her last plea got lot in the depths of his kiss.

Dean broke the kiss to look at her. Her lips pink and swollen from his kisses, her pupils blown as she gazes at him wantonly.

“Sweetheart, I think you should have your first time with someone you love.” Dean couldn’t believe that he of all people said this. He didn’t want to rush things but driving her into the arms of another man was not his intention and as soon as the phrase left his mouth, he could have kicked himself into oblivion.

“Who said it’s my first time?” She answered and Dean stopped dead in his tracks and thought that his heart just stopped beating for a moment. A sudden wave of nausea hit him and he began to sweat profoundly.

He was already making a mental note to himself to seek out that sorry son of a bitch and rip his lungs out, scaring and scarring him for life when suddenly, he heard her giggle.

“Chill, Dude. You’re right, it’s going to be my first time and I love you, Dean. Only you,” She nibbled her way along his jaw, distracting him from his thoughts “please.”

He cupped her face between his palms, as he trails his thumbs along her bottom lip. “Jesus, Baby girl. What are you doing to me?” He managed to say before he crashed his mouth on hers again as his the butterflies began to fly around in the depths of his stomach. “You’ll be the death of me.” He broke off the kiss shortly, panting heavily against her lips as he rest his forehead on hers.

“Need. You. Dean. Please?” She kissed him sweetly between words and Dean was so far gone.

“The things I wanna do to you.” He muttered and hoped that she didn’t hear him.

Son of a bitch! He really hopes that he’s doing the right thing.

But all thoughts were abandoned when she rolled her hips so delicately against his straining bulge and Dean threw all his believes overboard. He groaned into the kiss and then the only thought was that he needed to get her home. Fast.

“Let’s go.” He growled at her, as he pushed her off him and he could swear that he heard a sigh of disappointment. Dean looked over at Y/N and saw her pouting which made him grin cheekily.

“You’re not going to have your first time in a car, not on my watch!” He smirked at her and he could see her face lighten up. “You deserve better than that, sweetheart.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t want to give anything away but it’s all lovey dovey.

She’s holding on to his hand on the drive home. Well, technically, Dean was holding on to hers, fiercely, because he’s probably afraid that she’s going to do something stupid while he’s driving and she can’t blame him. He was sitting next to her on this damn bench seat and all she can think of was, that she desperately wants to climb him like a fucking tree.

And there’s the swelling in his pants that she wants to explore. _So bad_.

She wonders how it would look like and funny enough, she never heard or seen Dean having sex. He had never brought back a girl to the motel. Would be a turn off anyway if you tell a girl that you’re sleeping in a room with your brother and kind of sister, wouldn’t it?

At school Y/N only heard senior girls talk about him. Dean was like a legend, a lore, everywhere they go. First time she heard of his amorous adventures was the time that someone asked her if she lived with the Winchesters. And if _“Dean Winchester the best she’d ever had”_ was her brother. Because he wouldn’t call her back. _Well duh, if someone’s not calling you back then stop calling them._ She wanted to say but she didn’t.

Back to the present, where she’s sitting next to Dean and she could see him stealing glances at her every now and then, squeezing her hand in reassurance and every time he does it, the tingly feeling between her legs grew into throbbing and she clenched and clenched around nothing but emptiness.

*

When he turns off the ignition, he let go of Y/N’s hand and got out of the car, running around to her side and opens up the car door for her. Now that’s a first and she’s almost burst out laughing at his chivalry. It made his cheeks blush and the freckles were hidden behind a fog of pink.

“Who said chivalry was dead?” He grins and held out a hand for her to take.

She got out and closed the door and before she knew it, Dean had her up against the car, kissing her ever so softly, like he’s dropping her off after a first date. A kiss that tastes like _more_. She doesn’t think that she could ever get enough of this. _Of Dean_.

“We should go in.” She breathes against his lips and Dean takes her hand in his.

She could feel that it was all sweaty and cold and smirked to herself because she was glad that he too, was nervous, probably even more than her.

“You sure?” Dean asked her again, “Just tell me to stop and I will.” He was looking at her and he hoped that she knows that she can back out anytime.

He let her take the wheel. If she says no, that’d be ok. He would take her out for late night ice cream or just watch a movie until they fall asleep. Tonight was all about Y/N.

“Dean. I want this.” She squeezes his hand and Dean nods before they walk to the house.

Dean’s heart is pounding and his hands were sweaty, his arms and legs jelly and he doesn’t think that he’s been so nervous in his life. _Ever_. Not even when Rhonda wanted him to wear her pink panties.

Dean’s cursing under his breath at the arm that was not healing fast enough because he’d rather carry her inside with her legs wrapped around his body. But that doesn’t mean that he couldn’t push her against the door and kisses her heavily while he tries to fit the key into the lock.

She breaks the kiss and grins at him when he still couldn’t open the door after two minutes of trying to fit a damn key into a damn key hole.

“Do you usually have troubles finding holes, Dean? Because if you do –”  Her teasing irritated him and he shut her up with another kiss, making her giggle into his mouth.

They fell into the door, lips still attached when Y/N toed off her heels and suddenly, Dean had to bent down further, not that he minded.

They kiss their way up the stairs, lip on lip, tongue against tongue and she didn’t even know where her hands were, the only thing Y/N knew was, that he was touching her in all the right places. _All the places that screamed in her head for more_. He walkes her backwards up, along the landing until they land in her bed with her underneath of him.

Dean hovered above her on his elbows, trying not to crush her and caging her between them as he studies her again. He wants to memorize everything about tonight.

He had a sad, awkward feeling in his heart. The feeling that he’ll probably not be able to do this again so he’s going to make tonight count. He hadn’t felt this way in a damn long time. He wasn’t even that nervous when he had sex for the first time. In fact, he couldn’t even remember the girls name that stole his virginity. Well, technically she didn’t steal it, she was just more experienced and Dean? Well, Dean just wanted to get it over with.

That’s why he’s going to make this count for her too. He wants her to remember him. A good memory at that. He doesn’t want to be known as that dude who came too early but yeah, if she keeps on being perfect like this, he doesn’t know if he could last.

He let his fingertips brush over Y/N’s face tenderly, painting the lines of her eyebrow before he gently cupped her cheek and wandered further down to her lips. His thumb strokes along her bottom lip, and a feeling erupted deep within her belly. Y/N never felt like this before. Never had the chance to. And it was a good feeling. Something tingly that travels down from her head to her toes.

Y/N startes to blush at Dean’s intense stare and before she could tell him to stop, he sucks her bottom lip into his mouth, tickling at it with the tip of his tongue and she smiled before opening up her mouth for him. She loves kissing. _Loves kissing Dean_. How could she not? Dean’s a fucking good kisser, not that she had anyone else to compare it to but it still counts. It was also better than her wildest dreams were made of.

“You ok?” He asks Y/N before bending down to kiss her softly, before he mouthed his way down her throat.

“Stop asking me, if I’m ok Dean. I swear to God, if you’re asking me one more time, I’ll kick you in the balls, throw you out and do it myself!” He loves how impatient she is and then she writhes under him, trying to get friction and pulled him closer so she could feel him and Dean thinks he’s never been happier.

He loves kissing her. Loves how her lips felt on his. Loves, how she whimpers when he hits her delicate spot behind her ear. But the most of all, he loves how his name rolls off her tongue and sings right to his heart.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times.

Dean’s hands were everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Y/N didn’t know how this could be possible but she needed him more than life itself and she swears if he won’t start to get down and dirty with her, she’ll rip him a new one.

She needed him to touch her. Touch every inch of her imperfect body and she starts to get damn near impatient because Dean is a fucking tease and she doesn’t know if she’ll survive this torture.

“We should take this off.” He whispers, his hand tugging at her dress and he then he sits back up on his heels, allowing her to take it off, helping her to bring it over her head and tosses it next to her bed.

When she wants to take off her bra too, he stopped her. “Not yet, Sweetheart.” And then, he pushes her back down and her heart began to beat faster.

All of a sudden, she felt vulnerable. She was always self-conscious of her body, never kind of proud of herself and Dean felt it, too. He could read the insecurity on her pretty face.

Of course Dean had seen her in her underwear but never under these circumstances. The feeling of shyness overcomes her and Y/N hugged her arms around her body. Stupid, she knows but she couldn’t help it.

Dean, on the other hand, he was determined to make her feel special. Make her feel that she’s perfect the way she is. Because he loved her. _Every_ _inch_ _of_ _her_.

He chuckles under his breath and takes in the sight before him and then he worked his magic. _The magic that is Dean._

He nibbed lightly at the sweet spot below her ear, working himself down to her chest. His hand went around to her back, unhooking her bra swiftly before he takes them off her and throws them behind his back under her bewildered gaze.

“Beautiful.” His voice was raspy and then he kisses his way down the valley of her breasts and her hands were around his head, her blunt nails digging softly into his scalp as she arches her back, pushing her breasts into his face, almost suffocating him but if that’s the way to go, Dean won’t protest.

He moved to her nipple, the tip of his tongue circling around her areola a couple of rounds before he seals his lips around her hardening bud, sucking at it and letting it out with an audible popping sound that was all kinds of dirty to her ears, before he mouthes his way to the other one and gives it the same affection. He looks up and saw her flushed face with her eyes closed. It was mesmerizing.

She whimpers his name through gritted teeth and the sound of it went straight to his dick. If she keeps on making these noices, he’s going to blow, Dean was sure of that. His cock twitches hard in his pants, pulsing heavily against the brass of the zipper.

Dean worked his way up again until he captures her lips in his mouth, kissing her sloppily and messily one last time before he makes his way downwards. And she almost didn’t let him go, her teeth tugging at his bottom lip and Dean has to ply his lips off hers.

He mouthed his way down, his hands kneading her handful of tits, his fingers twirling at her nipples, pinching at them, making her arch her back a second time as his mouth reaches her navel. He dips his tongue inside and circles it around before he reached the clothed mound of her pussy.

“Dean..” Y/N was breathing heavily and his name rolls off her tongue like a plea.

He worked his hands downwards too, and then he slotted himself in between her exquisite thighs.

Dean looked up at her and saw her eyes meeting his. He held her gaze as he mouthes at her clothed sex, licking up a stripe on her damp lace panties and he wondered where she got them from because he had never seen or bought them for her. He wouldn’t do that because he wouldn’t want her to wear it for anyone but him.

He hooked his fingers in her panties and pulls them down, getting up to help her out of them before he too, tosses them behind is back, adding the item to the others clothes already lying on the floor of her bedroom.

Y/N made a fist and bites into it as she watches Dean going down on her. It was more beautiful than she could have ever imagined. It feels incredible too. He wraps his hands around her thighs, holding her down by her hips because she kept trashing them around, but she couldn’t help it. It felt too good and she was anticipating the moment he would be in her, skin on skin.

She was trimmed but not blank, soft curls lined a way down to her folds and Dean swallows the excess saliva that builts up inside of his mouth. She was finger licking perfect and he couldn’t wait to taste her.

He positions himself between her luscious thighs, his mouth and nose millimeters from her pussy lips. Dean could literally smell the sweet musk radiating off her and his head feels light. Intoxicated, even.

The tip of his tongue brushes along her folds until he reaches her bud and then he dives in, sucking and lapping at the deliciousness that laid before him. His nose buries so deep in her cunt that her curls were tickling him and he nibbled at her lightly while he sucks at the wetness that she provides for him.

“Taste so good, Baby.” He hums in approval as he indulges himself in her.

He could feel her tense up and her hands were frantically searching for something to hold on to. They eventually found his and she held on to them, tight.

Then he did the thing he knew she’d approve, shaking his head wildly while he sucks and hums at the same time, sending vibrations through to her core.

“Shit, Dean!” She squealed above him and it made him stop and look up at her.

She closes her eyes, bathing herself in the feel when it hit her. Fuck, she just came, didn’t she? She doesn’t know to be honest. The feeling was so different to when she’s doing it herself.

He was wet all over his face and Y/N thought that the look suits him. She grins as she pants heavily, looking down and admire Dean.

“Good?” Dean asked with a cocky smile and she thought that she could punch right in his stupid cocky face.

“Oh my God! Better than good.”

“Oh honey, we’ve just started.” He flashes her a bright satisfactory smile before he gets back to work again.

Dean sucks in his middle finger and then he bathes it in her slick before he probed at her entrance with it. He eases his way in, slowly, all the while licking at her clit to make her relax.

When he was one knuckle in deep, he stopped to look at her, as if asking her in silence if she’s ok. The look she sent him spoke volumes and he continued.

He watched her now, closely. Dean could see her squirm when he breached her hymen but he didn’t stop because she wouldn’t want him to. She bit down her lips and looks at him before nodding for him to go on.

And when he was in, it was so much more than Dean thought it would be. Better than he could have ever hoped for. The warm tight channel envelopes his finger and fuck, he doesn’t know if he’ll fit and when he does, he’ll probably blow the second he’s buried in her.

Dean curled up his finger, trying to reach her sweet spot and when he finds it, she was a whimpering mess. Her body keens for him, and she rolled her hips so damn sexy towards his finger.

He put his mouth back on her, sucking at her bud before he starts to tickle it with the tip of his tongue while he works his finger inside of her. Slowly, he adds another finger and hums out a low growl when he feels how fucking tight she was with two of his fingers inside of her.

Then he could feel it. Her walls began to squeeze around his digits, and fuck, if it was his cock, she’d milk him dry.

“Shitshitshitshit.” She arched her back and gripped her bedsheets in her hands as she pushes herself up and then her hands were searching for him, pulling him up by his hair and face, when they found him. She dragged him on her, kissing him like she means it and Dean was sure that she could feel herself on the tip of his tongue. It was damn delicious.

“Baby girl. You good?” Dean knew he shouldn’t ask but he needs to.

“Shitfuck! Wow!” She lays back down, breathing heavily as she bathed in her afterglow.

Dean smiles at her and then he looks at his fingers, glistening wet from her slick and also pink from the blood but he didn’t mind. He suckes them dry anyway.

“You’re wearing too many layers.” She teased him and only now did Dean remember that he didn’t even had the time to take off his clothes it wasn’t important to him but now he couldn’t be naked fast enough.

Y/N watches him taking off his clothes, layer by layer, until he was standing naked before her and Dean could see the amazement in her eyes and he didn’t know if he should be happy or intimidated by her gaze.

“Wow.” She huffs out hot air and propped herself up on her elbows to take a better look at him.

“Like what you see?” _All_ _yours_. _Only_ _yours_. He wants to add but didn’t. Because what would that make him? Probably too desperate because he still doesn’t know where this should lead. It still feels all sorts of wrong but also it never felt more right.

He was hovering above her again, back on his elbow as his hard cock was rubbing against her thighs. She cranes her neck, kissing him, draining the taste from his mouth.

“I want to make you feel good too. Show me.” She whispers against his lips and Dean wants to. He really does, but not tonight. It’s all about her.

“Not tonight. It’s your night.” He smiled against the kiss and he deepened it before he felt her braking it off again.

“Dean?”

“Huh.”

“Condom?”

_Good_ _girl_. He thought.

He totally forgot about it. He almost wanted to say that it didn’t matter, that he’s clean and he’s sure that she is too. But they couldn’t risk that, could they?

He got up again with a heavy heart and digs around his pants for a condom. He rolled the latex on hastily and jumps right back into bed, making her squeal in delight as he attacks her neck.

And then he wrestles himself on top of her again, kissing her fervently, losing himself in the moment.

Y/N felt the tip of his cock nudging against her entrance and she braces herself. She was ready. Ready to take him, her body almost ached to feel him inside of her.

His face ghosts above hers as his eyes looked into her soul. He searched for a clue in her eyes. Searching for the silent ok she would give him and she did, she bites down on her bottom lip and nods and then she felt him shift above her.

The tip of his cock slides in and already she felt so full. Dean pushes in further, inch by glorious inch and it filled her up in all the right places.

She could feel him still when he was sheathed inside of her. Her tight walls hugging him, devouring him, and Dean sinks his forehead down on hers, their breathing mingling together.

“You can go on, I’m ok.” She reassures him, wondering why he is not moving.

“I’m not,” Dean hums in embarrassment and then he took a deep breath and gave her a peck on her forehead “trying not to come.”

Y/N giggles softly and Dean let her because it sounds delightful and when he thinks about it, it’s really funny.

He cleared his throat after a while. “Ok. I’m good.” Dean pulls out a bit just to dive back into her slick heat and it felt like heaven.

His thrusts were shallow but deep and he could tell that he hit her in all the right places because her legs began to shake underneath of him as her nails are digging into his back and when she came this time, he could see her eyes roll back into her head, giving him all sorts of dirty thoughts.

What Dean didn’t account for was that the orgasmic clench of her pussy walls would drive him over the edge. Her pussy grips tight around his cock, holding him captive and when Dean couldn’t move in nor out, he felt her walls pulsing and fuck, he spills right into the condom, his teeth breaching the skin on her shoulder and he squeezes his eyes shut as he heard a faint ringing in his ear but apart from that, he was so far gone.

She couldn’t think straight and all she heard was her heart that was beating out of her chest and Dean’s animalistic groan when he came, which stills echoes in her ear. She didn’t even hear the motor of a truck that approaches the house and parks in the driveway.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was all she ever wanted and more and Y/N wished, that she could stay like this forever but she can’t, can she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you would like to read more?

“Thank you.” The words blurt out of her mouth and as soon as they were out, she was embarrassed.

Dean chuckled as he pulls her close and her body melted against his, fitting together so well.

“You’re welcome?” He replies, kissing along her throat and shifts lightly to let her lie on his good arm.

When Dean wraps her body into his strong arms, a sense of calmness washes over her. Something she never felt before eases her mind, making her heart full and her belly tremble and there was something that felt like a stabbing pain in her heart. He kisses her temple and rests his chin on the top of her head as she buries her face deeper into the crook of his neck, inhaling the musky smell of Dean and sex. This was all she ever wanted and more and she wished, that she could stay like this forever.

She places a kiss on his chest before she closes her eyes, her lids had gotten heavier by the minute and it was just a matter of time until she would fall asleep in his arms. The place that always felt like home to her.

*

Weighty footsteps ascend the stairs but she was already asleep. She didn’t hear the sound of heavy boots making their way across the landing, looking first into Dean’s room before they came to a halt in front of hers.

She didn’t hear how the door that was not closed, was pushed open just a little wider.

She didn’t hear the thudding of feet picking up pace as it crosses the wooden floor until it came to a halt next to Dean.

Not even Dean did hear what was coming for him. He was still sleeping in a comfortable cloud of bliss and exhaust.

All of a sudden, strong arms grips at Dean’s still wounded one, yanking him up and shoving him across the room.

She woke up to the sudden movements. Woke up to Dean’s painful whimpering as he was shoved outside her door.

“John!”

She called out into air. Nobody was listening to her and the door slammed close.

Loud shouting and yelling fills the thick air in the house and she could hear every word.

“What the fuck were you thinking?”

Oh, John was pissed. In fact, she never heard him yelling like this before. Not even when he was angry at Sam for leaving.

“I love her.” Dean’s voice was soft, she almost didn’t hear him but when she heard it, her heart made summersaults and the trembling in her belly almost hurt at the words.

“Get dressed. You’re going to Bobby’s.”

“But-“

“Get. Dressed.”

_No no no!_

She got out of bed in a hurry, her hands frantically search for her bathrobe on the floor and when she found it, she hastily put it on, securing the rope before she runs to her door but when she wanted to open it, Dean was standing in the way, pushing her in when all she wanted was to get out and shout at John.

“No, no. Dean.”

The tears started to fall down. She couldn’t allow this. Not now that everything starts to get into place. When life starts to get better again.

“Shhh.” Dean held her wrists with one hand and she began to relaxed to his touch. She didn’t even notice how her hands cramped up into fists. He puts the other hand around her and pulls her close. “It’s going to be alright.”

_No, it’s not._ She wanted to say but didn’t. Instead, she just cried.

“I wanna talk to him.” She sobs against his bare chest and tries to wriggle herself out of Dean’s hold but he wouldn’t let her.

“Just,” Dean exhales “give him time. There’s no point, Y/N.”

He walks her backwards until she was standing by the edge of the bed and then he sat her down before he plied himself from her and search the floor for his clothes.

She just sat there, tears rolling down her cheeks and dropping into her lap as she stares at the floor, feeling numb and helpless.

When Dean was dressed and ready, he talked to her. Saying things that didn’t even reach her ears.

“Y/N.” He kneels down in front of her, jolting her out of her trance and then the feeling of sadness was here again.

“Hey.” He cradles her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting it up a bit towards his face. “I’ll be back in no time, alright?”

She closes her eyes, squeezing the tears out that were clouding her vision, letting them stream down her face and then she looked him in the eye. The beautiful eyes that she wants to get lost in. Nodding, she tries to smile because she saw him smiling through his tears.

“I’ll be back.” His voice was shaking when he cupped her face with both his hands, pulling her towards him and kisses her softly. And then she let him in, her teeth biting down on his bottom lip before he slid his tongue into her waiting mouth and tasted the salt of her tears.

Dean broke from the kiss and rests his forehead on hers, nose touching intimately, as their breaths mingled together.

“I’m.” He pecks her lips. “Sorry.”

She already knows that he was and she is too.

“Be good, ok? I’ll see you soon. I love you.” He kisses her one last time, his eyes squeezed shut when he kisses her forehead.

Dean gets up on his feet and turns himself around to walk out of the door.

“Promise?” She looks up and asks him when he was halfway out.

“Always.” He said smiling weakly at her before he closed the door.

Y/N got back to bed, listening as Dean packed his bag and walked down the stairs. She listened when Dean and John exchanged some words. Listened as he starts up his Impala and drove off and that was when she knew that life will never be the same again. Just when she thought that everything is falling together so nicely, they always tend to fall apart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean’s gone and Y/N’s left to fight her battles alone and then she’s thinking of running away. Again.

Two agonizing weeks went by without a sign from Dean. Then the three weeks melted into two torturous months and she almost gave up hope that she’ll ever get to see Dean again.

Sometimes, though. Sometimes she had the feeling that she’s being watched. She could literally feel someone watching her but when she would turn around, no one was there.

She remembers the night crystal clear. That night, John came into her room after Dean had left. He sat on her bed as he watched her sob into the pillow. John didn’t say a word but maybe he did, she just couldn’t hear him above her sobbing.

She couldn’t face him, had her back on him the whole time he was present in her room and when he tried to soothe her, she shook him off, screaming for him to get out of her room and John did what she asked of him, he lingered on the doorway before she heard a faint  _“Sorry, I did what I had to.”_. He said it as if he thought that she would forgive him. As if it would help to cure her heart break. She cried herself to sleep that night and when she woke up, John was gone, along with her phone.

She emailed Sam right away, telling him how John sent Dean away and then she lied on why John did it. Also she lied about her phone, telling Sam that she’s lost it so that Sam wouldn’t worry when she can’t pick up the phone when he called.

Sam offered to buy her a new phone for Christmas, as soon as he would get paid but she didn’t want to be a bother to him and politely declined. He also said that he won’t be able to make it back for Christmas and she wasn’t even mad. She had the feeling that when Dean left, she’s lost all her power to fight and maybe the power to go on, too.

They keep on emailing each other and he was helping her to get onto the right path again. She began to study hard and Sam helped her with college stuff. She’s going to apply to some and who knows? Maybe she’ll get out of this life?

“You could come here for Christmas, though.” That was Sam’s wrote in the last email and there was no question mark and she was wondering if he just said it to make her feel better or if he really meant it.

Either way, she had had enough. She wanted to feel like she belonged. John didn’t bother to call that he won’t be here for Christmas, in fact, she hasn’t even heard of him in more than a week.

.

*

.

She walks up to the house, it was dark and she could barely see straight but she’s so happy and relieved. Relieved, that she finally made it to her destination. 

Walking around to the back, she looked into the window from the outside and caught a glimpse of the living room and then she spotted him. He sat at a desk, alone, reading through a thick book. His hand fidgeted with the keychain, twirling it around his fingers over and over again.

She lifted her hand to knock at the window and then she could see him drawing his gun, his fingers placed firmly around the trigger.

“Y/N?” He raised his eyebrow. “What are you - ”

“Aren’t you going to let me in?” She said with cracking voice, the tears well up in her eyes and she felt like passing out.

Dean told her to walk around to the door and she couldn’t think straight. Her body worked on its down, her feet slowly taking her where she needs to go.

She didn’t even have to walk all the way, Dean was already out the door, speeding towards her, almost knocking her over when she rounded up the corner and when she saw him, she began to smile and then everything went black.

*

She could hear faint murmurs in the distance and could make out the voice to be Bobby’s. Someone put a wet wash cloth on her face, cleaning up the dirt and tears that accumulated there in the past couple of hours.

“Hey.” She tried to say but it came out as a raspy choke.

“Shhh. You shush your pie hole and let me take care of this.” Dean’s voice was so close and it filled her heart with warmth again.

“She’s here John. Everything’s fine. She’s not injured.” Bobby said into the phone. “I don’t know what happened!” And “She’s with us. Just take your time. I’ll see you when I see you. Oh, and maybe you shouldn’t be so hard on them. Yeah, fine. Right. Bye.”

She could hear Bobby walking over and sat down on the coffee table next to the couch where she was nursed back to consciousness.

“Kiddo, do you want to tell me what happened?” Bobby asked and when she looked over, she could see worry painted on his face.

“Bobby, can you not wait - ” Dean wanted to say but got cut off.

“No, I can’t.”

“It’s alright.” She put her hand on Dean’s before letting him help her up. When she sat, Dean held out a glass of water. She carefully took a sip and then she thought that it was the most delicious water she had ever had.

Clearing her throat, she began to speak again. “I packed my things. Wanted to get away. Maybe to Sam.” She could see that Dean lowered his gaze as his hands were balled into fists and she was not sure if Dean was mad that she wanted to run away or the fact that she wanted to run to Sam and not to him.

She closed her eyes and began to remember and everything came back to her. Clear as day.

“Someone knocked. I thought it was our neighbor but it was a vampire. Suddenly they pushed me in. There were three of them and I didn’t know what to do. My mind was blank. They grabbed me but they just held on to my thick sweater and then I could manage to get out of it. I got a hold on the letter opener I left on the table at the door and slashed at a throat of one of them.” She began to talk as the picture of the night played in her head.

“One of them grabbed my ankle and I fell. But then I began kicking and trashing around. As hard as I could. Until I was standing on my feet again.” She had tears in her eyes.

“Then I was outside and when I looked back, I saw them coming after me.” She could see that Dean closed his eyes and his face looked pained.

“But I ran. I ran and never looked back.” That’s the truth. She never looked back. Ran until she thought that no one was following her. She had nothing on her, no money, no phone, nothing. And then she hitchhiked her way here but was let out at the beginning of Sioux Fall and then she walked the rest of the way.

They must have followed John back one day. Seeking revenge on the things John did to them but she didn’t blame John. She was glad that she was still alive.

Bobby offered her to take a shower and crash in the spare room  _“or with Dean. Whatever.”_  and then she could see him smile while Dean looked away but not before she could see him blush. John would be on his way and will pick her up. They will have to move and she can’t say that she’s mad because there’s no way she’s going back to Missouri again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is trying to wash away all the things that happened to her.

She closed the door of the bathroom, her hands fumbled to lock it but the lock won’t work so she just let out a sigh and turned on the shower before she slowly peeled herself out of her clothes and when she looked down on her body, she could see patches of bruises that start to to form. Bruises, that will be a constant reminder for the time being. A reminder of the night, when she was at her weakest and lowest. 

She looked into the mirror, forcing herself to smile weakly through the tears that were running down her cheeks. She survived. She’s a fighter and she won’t let this experience ruin her. She won’t let it eat her up like it ate up John and his boys. 

When she stepped into the shower, she ducked her head under the stream, let the warm water wash away her tears and she stayed like that until the air that she sucked in before she got under the stream began to subside and she knew that she needed to move. She knew that she needed to get out of the stream to breathe in another gulp of air but she couldn’t. Instead, she let herself sink down, until she was sitting in the shower and only then did she bowed her head, her wet hair falling around her like a wall and then she lost control. Her quiet whinings turn into sobbings and she leaned her back against the shower wall and hugged her knees to her body, her knees supporting her head that got way too heavy for her neck to support.

“Y/N, I got you some fresh underwear and a shirt you could wear.” Dean opened the door and she didn’t even know if he knocked. She wouldn’t have heard it anyway.

“Y/N?” Dean asked again as he heard sobs behind the shower curtain.

His hand carefully pushed the curtain to the side and then he saw her, hunched down in the shower and Dean didn’t hesitate for a second.

“Hey, hey! Shhhh.” She felt strong hands gripping her arms and hoist her up before they went around her body, holding her tight. Her face pressed against his chest while he cradles the back of her head with one hand. “Shhh. It’s alright to cry. You’re here now. You’re alive.”

After a while she broke his hold to be able to look up at him and then she could see that Dean too, had tears in his eyes and she hoped that he didn’t think that it was his fault.

“So happy that you’re alive.” He closed his eyes as he pressed his lips to her forehead.

“Dean? Your you’re wet.” She didn’t know what to say, but yes. She’s happy that she’s alive too. She’s happy that she is here. With him.

“Shhh. Doesn’t matter.” He sushed her and then she felt his lips on hers and she won’t deny how good it felt and how much her body yearned for him. She was dying to have something good to hold on to.  _Dean_.

She felt one of his hand leave her body to reach for the soap and then he looked at her and she nodded her head. They didn’t need words. Not right now.

He began to soap up her body and she could see him flinch every time the bar of soap in his hand brushed over a scratch or a bruise on her body. He was hurt, when she was the one who should be hurting.

She put her hand over his and began to guide him. “It’s ok, Dean.” As soon as the words left her lips she felt him push her against the tiles gently, kissing her like he means it and holding her, as if he never wanted to let her go again. And deep in her heart, she hoped that he wouldn’t.

He shampooed her hair next, his fingers massaging her scalp, trying his best to get out the vamps blood that had dried out in her hair. She enjoyed the intimacy and suddenly, she felt happy to be alive and she began to chuckle at herself because as of last week, she thought that it would have been best when John had never found her, never took her home with him, never raised her with his boys but she was so, so wrong.

When Dean rinsed out her hair and her body, she felt fresh and new again. This was what she needed, along with a decent night of sleep and she hoped that Dean would stay with her because she was sure that the nightmares would return but she was too shy to ask him for that. Surely Dean has other things on his plate and Bobby might need him.

He dried her up in the most comfy towel he could find in Bobby’s closet and this time, it was her who flinched when Dean dried up the spots that began to turn blue.

“I’m sorry.” He said and she didn’t know what he was sorry for because it wasn’t his fault.

“Me too.” She answered, because she was.

She was sorry that she made him have sex with her in the first place. She was sorry that she was in love with him and she wished, oh she wished that she could just un-love him but nobody told her how.

“I’ll leave you to get ready for bed.” Dean said, his hand resting on the nape of her neck as he pulled her close and pressed a kiss on her forehead, closing his eyes shut as he did.

She finished drying up and took the clothes Dean prepared for her. She put on the fresh pair of boxer shorts that lied on top of the shirt. When she held out the shirt he gave her, she could see that it wasn’t fresh. She remembered that it was his favorite sleep shirt and a smile crept on her face with the familiar rumble of her heart. She put the shirt over her head, sliding it down her fragile body, inhaling the smell of Dean on her. Dean always knew how to calm her down and this just showed how much he knew her. How could she ever un-love him?

She let her hair air dry and brushed her teeth with a toothbrush she found. At that moment, she really couldn’t care less about the germs and whatever. She just wanted to feel fresh and normal again and honestly, it was not even the worst thing she’d done in her life.

When she was all done, she walked out into the hall and went to the spare room. She had been at Bobby’s so many times and the spare room was always her room. Not that she spent a lot of time there because she ended up in the middle of the big bed with Sam and Dean anyway. Every time.

She walked in, expecting nothing but then she started to grin when she saw Dean in there, waiting for her. He peeled off his wet clothes and changed into a dry pair of boxers and shirt and he spread his arms for her, an open invitation to snuggle in and how could she say no to that?


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is comforted by Dean and things lead to other..well, things and it might feel too good to be true but she’s taking everything Dean is willing to give.

She sat down on the little space that was left on the bed and Dean scooted over a little, making room for her as he turn on his side to give her more space next to him. She laid her head on Dean’s arm as she faced him, her face buries into the crook of his neck, smelling the soap that he used on her. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t. Bobby’s going to be mad.” She whispered and Dean pulled her closer to him so that her whispers got lost in the crook of his neck.

“No, he won’t.” He assured her, placing a kiss on her forehead again and she could feel the blood rushing to her face, making her ear pulsate.

Dean put his other hand under her chin, tilting her head up to meet his eyes and when she did, she looked into those beautiful green orbs that pulled her in and she got lost. _Lost in Dean_.

He kissed her gently and she kissed him back, diving into the familiarity of the kiss. _Of Dean_. She closed her eyes as she felt his other hand coming up to cup around her face. The tip of his tongue licks at her lips and she gladly let him in, let him feel the inside of her mouth and she could taste something on his tongue and after a couple of seconds, she recognized the taste as Bourbon and the saltiness of her tears.

Dean broke the kiss to lick and kiss the tears from her cheeks before he dove right in again, kissing her more fervently, her tongue slid against his in a heated dance and her hand cupped the side of his face, holding to it like a lifeline.

His hands traveled down her body until they found the flesh underneath her shirt. He ran his hands back up her body, cupping her boob in his hand before he twirls her nipple between his fingers, making her moan into the kiss and Dean swallowed down every sound that left her lips.

Dean pulled her closer and rolled her around so he was on top of her and he kissed his way down her body, nibbling and sucking gently at her throat before he pulls her shirt over her head and placed open mouthed kisses down her chest.

She cradled his head in her hands, fingers stroking at the back of Dean’s head, pulling at the short hair that was there, as he sucked in a nipple, making her arch her back, pushing her breasts further towards his face. The tip of his tongue tickled her nipple, making her puff out a silent giggle and she could feel him chuckle hot air against her wanting skin.

He kissed further down, making sure to place extra soft kisses against the bruises on her body and then his fingers hooked themselves around the boxer shorts on her hips.

Dean paused to look up at her, his brows furrowed in question and she was out of breath, only managing to nod and then a smile lit up his face as he pulled her boxers down until they were around her ankle.

His face dipped down, mouth sucking and lapping at her thighs as he held her legs open and she desperately wanted to close them. Wanted to feel friction between them, but Dean’s taking his time.

“Dean. Please!” The words rolled off her tongue in a plea and she writhed underneath his touch.

“What do you want me to do?”

_He’s a fucking tease and he knows it._

“You know what I want.” She said shyly. Not really ready to say things like that just yet. Filthy things that will make her face blush.

“You need to be more precise, Sweetheart.” He kissed his way around her sex and she couldn’t help but let out a frustrated sigh.

“Please! Goddamnit, Dean!”

“Say it, Y/N. I know what I want and I know what you want, but I need to hear it. I need you to say it so I can be sure that this is not a dream.” His face hovered above her sex as he parted her outer lips with his thumbs, exposing her clit to cold air and she could feel his warm breath on her.

“I want your mouth on me. I want you to make love to me, Dean. Please..” Even before she could say please, he sealed his lips around her sex, sucking in her clit and lapping up the juice that pooled down there.

For a moment, she couldn’t think straight. She almost forgot how good it felt and it was even better with Dean. Not that she had anyone to compare him to but she didn’t need anyone else. She needs Dean. _Her Dean_.

He teased his way around her clit again, lapping up the wetness before he spoke, his voice trembling and she knew that it was because he’s holding himself back. “Missed you so much, Baby girl. Missed your taste. Couldn’t think of anything or anyone else since the last time. Been waiting to do this again for so long.”

Dean wets his forefinger with her slick before he slid it inside of her and the hurt she felt at first, subsided into familiarity.

“Fuck.” She puffed out a groan as he felt him filling her up.

“What? Stop?” He stilled inside and looked up at her before twisting his finger up at a perfect angle.

“Hell no. Go on.” She breathed out a smile and looked down to meet his eyes.

“Good, because I don’t know if I could stop now.”

He enveloped her bud again as his finger slid in and out of her. When he crooked his finger again, he hit the spot deep within her, making her arch her back as her hands fumbled for something to hold on to.

“Fuck, Dean. Keep doing that.” Her hands found his head and grabbed it, pulling at his short hair and he looks up to her so nicely while he breathed through his nose.

She gyrated her hips to meet his fingers and then it was there. The tidal wave that slowly built up in the depths of her stomach rolled off and hit her core and she fell deep down into a pure ocean of bliss as she rolled her hips against his face.

Dean was still sucking lightly as he let her ride out her orgasm and when she was giggling softly, he detached his face from her pussy and smiled up at her with a shiny face.

“Jesus, Baby. So fucking perfect.” He was on his knees and she could see him palming his cock through his boxers. “I.. fuck..can I?”

“Dude, I’ll be mad if you don’t.”

She needed to feel him inside of her like yesterday. She was so ready and she’ll rip him a new hole if he doesn’t get his boxers and shirt off right about _now_.

“Shit.” He mumbled as he sat back on his heels.

“What is it?” She was already worried that he would change his mind.

“I..uh.. I left the condoms at home. Thought I wouldn’t need them anyway since you were not here. Fuck!”

Dean was angry at himself but he really didn’t need them while he was here. In all this time, he never had a fling. He didn’t even looked at other girls, just dove right into hunting and reading lores.

“It’s ok, Dean.” She propped herself up on her elbows as she looked at him with big puppy eyes that he could never resist. “You just pull out.”

“Really?” He almost chirped and fuck, if he didn’t sound desperate now. He knows that he shouldn’t. Every fiber in his body knows this but it’s Y/N. And if she’s game, he’s game.

“Really.” She bit down on her bottom lip and Dean’s dick just got a little harder when he saw it. She could see it stir in its confines.

Hastily, he rid himself of the boxers and shirt and then he was back between her legs. The tip of his cock teasing at her entrance. He slid it up and down her clit, coating it in shiny juice and fuck, it feels so good.

She held in her breathing when his cockhead breached her pussy and Dean puffed out a groan.

“Shit. Forgot how tight you are. I won’t last long, Y/N.” He pushed in slowly. Inch by inch and she could feel how he filled her up deeper and deeper.

When he was fully sheathed, he let himself fall forward, holding himself up on his elbows as his lips touched hers. They kissed while he thrusts deeply into her, making her moan into his mouth and her hands held on to his arms.

Dean broke the kiss to look at her, their nose touching intimately and she couldn’t take her eyes off him.

“Shit, Baby. I’m going to cum.”

“Then cum, Dean.” She clenched around him, wanting him to know how good he makes her feel.

“Jesusfucking, Y/N!” He groaned out. “Don’t make me cum in you!” And she held back her laugh.

He kissed her again, as his thrusts picked up pace and she met him, thrust by thrust, pumping her hips against his movements, their moanings melt into one.

“Son of a -” Quickly he pulled out and pumped his cock two more times before he spilled on her stomach and she watched him. She loved how he squeezes his eyes shut when he comes, how his jaw clenches and how he tries to bite back the groan that left his lips.

She smiled at him as she watched him come down from his high and he breathed out a lazy chuckle.

“Gonna clean you up.” He said and was about to get out of the bed and grab at his shirt but his eyes were fixed on her hand as she dug her fingers into his cum and placed them to her lips before she sucked them into her mouth.

“Always wanted to taste it.” She smirked around her fingers, her eyes still hazy from the afterglow and her cheeks hollowed out.

“Fuck, you’re going to make me hard again, Babygirl.” He swallowed down the excess saliva that built up in his mouth upon seeing the mouth watering sight. “And we can’t risk that.” He said it like it’s a bad thing but before she could protest, he got out of bed and put his boxers back on. He cleaned her up with his old shirt and she knows that she still smells like sex but she doesn’t mind.

Dean got back into bed with her, letting her rest her head on his arm as he stroked the side of her head until she fell asleep and he too, drifts off not long after.

*

Dean woke up to sounds from downstairs and he could hear John talking to Bobby.

“She’s sleeping, John. Let her sleep for at least a bit.” Bobby tried to hold John back from coming up and take her with him.

Dean was glad for Bobby. If John would listen to anyone, it’s Bobby. He couldn’t fall back asleep but he was content to just hold her, to listen to her breathing. Because it is the only thing that makes him feel alive.

*

She woke up to the sound of Dean shuffling around in the room. When she opened up her eyes and blinked the sleep away, she saw him sitting on the bed, all dressed up and ready and she wondered where she was, everything that happened swam around in her head in a blur.

She got up and sat herself beside him and he immediately put an arm around her shoulder, pulling her towards him and placing a soft kiss on the top of her head. “It’s time.” He murmured before he released her.

“Time?” Her brows furrowed. “Time for what, Dean?”

“Dad’s here.” He answered bluntly and then it dawned on her. John’s here to take her away again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is fearing that she could be pregnant. Only a test will reveal the truth.

She’s sitting on the edge of the bathtub in the too tiny bathroom of the motel. Eyes staring blankly at the tiles on the wall and then she noticed that there were some missing and she wonders if they’ll ever fix it after their gone? 

She doesn’t know and she shouldn’t care because she should be paying attention to something else. She should be paying attention to the pregnancy test that was placed face down on the sink. She didn’t want to look but she knew that she had to eventually. 

Her hands are shaking and she put them in between her thighs as she pressed them together, trying to still them. A feeling of heart ache washed over her and she never thought that things could go out of hand. Not like that.

They have moved here after John picked her up from Bobby’s a month ago. It was already one month since that faithful night. One month, since she told Dean it was ok and that he could ‘pull out’. God, how irresponsible and dump was she?

She remembered that day. Remembered, how she walked down the stairs with wobbly legs. How Dean had to support her and then John was on her, sobbing while he hugged her tight, pressing her face into his chest as his tears were dropping on the top of her head. “I’m sorry.” He’d repeat, over and over again. And she told him that it was ok but he wouldn’t listen.

John went back to get her things, said that he already made arrangements for a motel in Kansas. He held out a bag for her, a simple piece of paper that looked awfully familiar, deliberately placed on top of it so that everybody could see and then it dawned on her that it was a list of colleges she wants to apply to.

“What is this, kiddo?” John asked, trying not to show that he was hurt but his voice was still shaking.

“Uh..I wanna try, John. I want to do something else.” She looked around the room, her eyes searching for Dean’s but when she found them, he quickly looked away.

“We’ll talk about it later. Let’s get going.” John said as he put an arm around her shoulders to support her.

Dean picked up his bag and was following them.

“Where are you going, son?” John asked, surprised.

“If you think that I’ll leave her alone with you, you better think again, Dad. I’m coming and you ain’t stopping me.”

There were some angry stares but John didn’t dare to argue and then she saw him lowering his head in defeat. Now that’s a first and she knows how proud Dean must be feeling for standing up against his Dad.

After they settled in their new ‘home’, John soon went back to being away more often than not, leaving Dean to take care of her but Dean really didn’t mind.

But apart from having Dean back again, something had been bothering her and she didn’t know if she should tell him or not but it’s Dean; he always knew when something’s wrong and sometimes, she didn’t know if it was a curse or a blessing.

“What is it.” He was lying on the same couch and watched her read.

“What?”

“It’s just. I’ve been watching you, and you haven’t turned one single page for the last 15 minutes. So either the book is really hard to read, which I don’t think so because it’s freaking Mark Twain and not some Fyodor Dostoyevsky.” He stretched his legs so he could cage her in between them.

She began to blush and dropped her book onto her lap as she began to stroke his jean clad leg. “It’s nothing.”

“C’mon, Y/N. It’s never nothing. I know you better than anyone.”

He’s right. Dean knew her better than she knew herself. He knows when something’s not right and how could she ever think that she could keep things like that from him?

“Careful there, kitten. If you keep rubbing like that, I might purr.” He tried to joke and she’s ashamed that it works because she’s smirking now.

“Unless.. you want another round?” He licked his lips and she’d be on him if there’s not something bugging her.

“Dean, I’m still sore from before.”

That’s the truth though. Dean worked his magic with his damn skillful fingers while she cooked and made her tremble. _Twice_. And then he licked them clean of her slick before he grinned cheekily, telling her that he’s looking forward to dessert. Making her blush all different shades of red. They did it right there on the kitchen table, after they ate but all the while they couldn’t stop teasing each other. Moments like this, made her forget her troubles but that doesn’t mean that they’ll magically disappear.

Dean sat up abruptly, his big hands cupping her face as he kissed her and then he rested his forehead on hers. “What is it? You know that you can tell me, right?”

She grabbed his wrists and she didn’t really dare to look at him and when she finally did, she saw the frown lines.

Sighing before she spoke, her voice almost inaudible but she knew that Dean can hear her nonetheless.

“I-I don’t know. Dean.. I, I might be pregnant.” And then she started to cry as he pulls her closer.

“But we were careful, weren’t we?” His voice was gentle but she could hear that he’s thinking hard about the last four weeks. He went out and bought a new pack of condoms and he did use one. Every time.

“We were but that time at Bobby’s..” She looked up to him now and then she saw him closing his eyes. “That time, we weren’t and I’m late.” Before she knew it, her sobs overwhelmed her again as her body shook in Dean’s arms.

He stroked over her head and she could hear his heart beating fast against her hot cheeks. “It’s ok.” He cleared his throat. “I’m here. I won’t leave you. We’re going to get through this. And maybe that’s a good thing?”

She couldn’t believe what came out of his mouth and then she broke the embrace, looking up at Dean through her tears. “A good thing? Dean, are you fucking kidding me?”

“Why not? We could start a family, get away from hunting, have a freaking apple pie life!”

“Dean! Stop! Don’t you dare say another word!” She stood up and paced around the room, crossing her arms and uncrossed them, throwing them up and down in a heated argument with herself. “I’m freaking 17! I don’t need a baby. Not right now.” She could see that Dean was taken aback by her statement but he shut his mouth, letting her finish.

“I agree. I do want to get away from this life. But not like that!”

“So, is that why you’re going to apply for colleges? So you can get away?” He said meekly.

They’ve never mentioned it again after John found out. And honestly, she didn’t know what she should or could say to make it better.

“Yes.” She looked down to her feet, her toes digging into the cheap carpet.

“Fine! I need a drink. Don’t wait up.” He was out before she could call after him.

And then she sat there, listening to the Impala roaring up and Dean driving away.

When she woke up again this morning, there was a pregnancy test on her nightstand and when she looked to the bed next to her she was relieved that Dean was here, out cold, but he was here and that’s what mattered.

She got up and carried the test to the bathroom and that’s where she is now, her watch saying that the three minutes are over.

There was a knock at the door just before she wanted to get up and walk over to the sink. _Saved by the bell_ , she thought.

“Y/N! Are you in there? I need to take a leak.”

“Yeah. Wait.”

“I can’t wait! Seriously, I drank up the whole bar. I -”

She opened up the door and sat back down on the bathtub without so much of a word.

“Oh.” Dean noticed the test on the sink and then he looked at her and slowly his brain registered. “Are you?” His voice was all raspy and his hair stuck out all over the place and she didn’t know if she should find him cute or just annoying for interrupting her and then he sat down next to her, eyes barely open.

“Dean, you stink.”

“I know.” He answered as his eyes followed hers and both of them stare at the test. “So what are we staring at? Are you?”

“Uhm.. I.. I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? They’ve told me that it’s simple. Two lines for yes; one line for no. I thought you wanted to go to college? It’s not fucking rocket science.” He nudges her with his arm and then he leaned closer and it really made her happy that he thought about her going to college and apparently, he made his peace with it.

“I couldn’t look yet, alright? I’m too scared.” She said, tilting her head to look at him. “Oh and Dean?”

“Huh?”

“You seriously need to brush your teeth and take a damn shower.”

“Well, I would if you would let me pee and get out of the damn bathroom.”

“Could you maybe take a look?” She asked him and when Dean got up and walked to the sink, she flinched.

Dean took the test in his hand but not quite turning it around yet.

“I..uh..I’m nervous too.” He whispered as he swallowed down a lump in his throat. “Maybe I’m going to be a dad?”

“For the love of god, just look at it and tell me.” She rolled her eyes and then shield them with her hands, hiding her face behind them while she wanted on Dean to read the result.

“Can we have a drumroll?”

“Dean!”

“Alright, alright..”

“Just tell me.”

“Congratulations, you’re not pregnant!”

“Really?” She couldn’t believe her ears and then she jumped up and saw Dean waving the test around. When he handed it to her, she could only see one line and then she jumped into Dean’s arms and hooked her feet behind his back.

She could see him smiling with her as they kissed.

“I stink.” He broke the kiss to look up at her.

“I know but I’m just so happy.”

“Well, in that case. How about you get undressed and -”

She placed her forefinger on his lip. “Let me stop you right here. I need to go to school.” As she wriggled herself out of his embrace.

“Oh, c’mon!”

“Take a shower, Dean!” She literally skipped her way into the room and got dressed. Nothing could stop her now.

“Yeah, whatever.” Dean called after her. “You know, a little help would’ve been nice!”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is turning 18 and Dean has a surprise for her.

It was her big day and it was a lot more different than the last. She could still remember last year clearly. How she went to the Halloween party and how Dean got jealous. How he’d almost started a fight when he saw the boy hunched over her. She remembered the first kiss she shared with Dean later in the car and how he gently made love to her for the first time. How far they’ve come within a year. The obstacles they’ve overcome. She somehow wished that it would never end but deep down, she knew that it will, eventually.

“You ready?” Dean asked, poking his head through bathroom door as she put some make-up on her face.

“Almost there.” She called out before she attempted to neatly apply some colors to her lips.

“You know that you don’t need to do that, right?” Dean leaned against the doorframe, watching her.

“Shut up and go wait outside.” She blushed at his comment because she knew exactly what he meant with that.

“Fine. But you need to speed it up, kid. Oh and really, lipstick? As if it would stay on your lips.” He tsked before strolling back out into the room.

She had been writing college applications in the last weeks. Some of them, she’s sent out, some of them are still hidden in her drawer and every time Dean walked by near that drawer, her heart takes a leap. Although he knows that she’s eventually going to leave him, it has never been spoken out loud.  
  
Lately, she’d been harboring a lot of secrets. The first one was that she went and got herself pills. She didn’t want to risk having another pregnancy scare. Her little heart could probably not take it. It was nerve wracking to say the least. She didn’t tell Dean though. She didn’t want him to be careless about it and somehow she wanted to be double sure. It might sound crazy but she’d rather be safe than sorry.  
  
And the second secret, well, that was the one with the college applications. Sam does know. Sam does also support her and she’s super grateful for it. She might not be able to get into Stanford on a full ride like he did, but she’d be just content getting in anywhere with a full ride, because she was sure that John wouldn’t forge out the funds for her education.

“Where are you taking me?” She asked Dean as the roared up the Impala.  
  
“It’s a secret.” He said, threading his free hand in hers and pulled it up to leave a kiss on the back of her hand.

After some time, they rounded up into the parking lot of Gella’s Diner and she got all excited. She knows that it’s silly to be excited at something as simple as a meal in a Diner that looks clean but she takes what she gets and honestly, she already knows that it’s going to be the best night of her life.  
  
Dean walked around the car and opened up the door for her, holding out a hand to help her get out and caging her in as she was standing here, gently pushing her against the open door and then he kissed her ever so softly, not wanting to get his lips painted in her lipstick, his hands resting on the side of her face, his palms caressing her cheek.  
  
“What was that for?” She smiled, her heart beating out of her chest at the tender kiss.  
  
“You’re beautiful. I think I haven’t told you yet today.” He smiled back at her and then he cleaned his lips of her lipstick with the back of his hand. “C’mon, let’s roll.” He held out a hand again and she took it, holding on to him while he pulled her behind excitedly and she really doesn’t know who’s more excited of the prospect of eating delicious food tonight.

As they stepped through the door, she saw him. He’s stood up from his chair, his height towering over the other diner guests and then he nervously shifts from one foot to the other, as if he doesn’t really know what he should do.  
  
Dean lowered his head to hers and whispered into her ear. “Happy Birthday, Sweetheart.”

She turned to hug Dean and gave him a peck on his cheek before she started to run towards the big Sam, who in turn, ran towards her. He picked her up like she weights nothings and spun her around before he set her down and pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head.  
  
“Happy Birthday, Y/N.” He said and then, he held her face between his big palms and she doesn’t know why but she started to cry and then suddenly, Dean was right. She shouldn’t have even bothered to wear make-up because it was all dripping down her face.

“Sammy!” She cried out and put her arms around his neck again, holding him as if she never wanted to let him go again. “But how, why? What? Sorry, I can not word my feeling right now.”  
  
Sam chuckled as she let him go and then he looked over to Dean who was standing awkwardly next to them. “Dean asked for me to be here. You can thank him.”  
  
“Oh, I will.” She took the couple of steps back and kissed Dean’s cheek before pulling at his hand to walk over and sit next to her.

Sammy took a seat and they had the first talk since.. well, since forever. She told him about what happened, things that she couldn’t tell him over the phone and Sam sent Dean side eyes paired with bitch faces, especially when he heard the story about the vamps.

When she excused herself to go to the bathroom, the boys watched her leave and Sam was immediately giving Dean hell, the second she disappeared through the door.  
  
“Dude, you promised you would take care of her!” He hissed in a low voice.  
  
“I did, alright!”

“Yeah, great fucking job, Dean. She had to fight for her life while freaking vamps were hunting her down!”  
  
“Cut it, Sammy! I did everything I could, alright? Do you think it was easy for me? It fucking wasn’t and hell, I’m thinking about it every time I see her face. You don’t have to pour salt into my wound. You weren’t there, were you?”

That comment hurt Sam. Yes, he wasn’t there. He chose to go. Chose to leave the life they were leading. Before he went he’d ask Dean to take care of her and even though Dean was mad at Sam, he couldn’t deny that. Plus, it was his intention the whole time anyway.  
  
Angry stares followed, but Dean knew that neither one of them really meant to be angry at the other.  
  
“So, um..I’m gonna go,” He looked in the direction of the bathroom and then he stood up. “I need..uh.” Dean didn’t even know what to say so he said nothing and then he went to see while she took so long in there.

Y/N walked out of the girl’s room when she bumped into Dean and before she could say anything, he had her pinned to the wall, his hand caressing her face as he kissed her roughly.  
  
He broke the kiss and mumbled a “Thanks.” Before he sprayed her lips with more kisses.  
  
“What was that for?” She asked, out of breath.  
  
“I just needed it.” He smiled weakly and took a step back. “Do I have lipstick on my lips now?”  
  
She couldn’t help but giggle. “No, it’s kiss proof. You’re good to go.”  
  
He brushed along his lips with his thumb, because he didn’t quite believe her and when he saw that she was right, he grinned.  
  
She winked at him and was about to walk out to Sammy but then Dean held her back.  
  
“Uh.. Y/N. Don’t tell Sammy about us. I don’t think he’s ready to hear it. Not yet.”

“So, tell me about you Sam. How’s college life treating you?” She asked him, even though she already knows. He looks fabulous. College had treated him well and she could also see that he was more relaxed, more carefree.  
  
“It’s good. I met a girl, she’s quite nice.”  
  
“I knew you would. Do we get to meet her?”  
  
“Maybe one day?” He smirks and she could see how happy he was when he thought of her.  
  
“Good. Sammy, listen. Dean doesn’t know about me applying to colleges. He knows that I wanna go but he doesn’t know that I'm literally sending out applications as we speak. I just.. I don’t know. I don’t want to rub it in his face, you know?”  
  
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Sure thing. I hope something works out.”  
  
“Me too.” She smiled and then she saw Dean walking out to join them.

The rest of the night had been spent laughing, joking and talking about old times and she really should thank Dean for reaching out to Sam. She knew how hard it must have been for him but he did it for her and that just makes her love him a little more than she already did.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has got a present for Reader but he didn’t know that she’s got one for him too.

“Thank you.” She sat in the car as they made their way back. Sam wanted to drive up to Bobby’s and pay him a visit before he catches a plane back to San Francisco. She was still bummed that the visit was so short but also she’s looking forward to the next one. Dean had suggested they make a road trip to Sam and well, she won’t say no to that one.

“My pleasure. It was good seeing him again.” Dean replied, looking over to her.

“Do you think he did the right thing?” She asked carefully and then she turned her head and was met by his eyes and there’s a touch of sadness to them.

Dean cleared his throat before he spoke. “Uh.. yeah. I think what Sam did was right.” Dean turned his focus back on the road and she could see that he gripped the wheel just a little tighter as he clenched his jaw.

He knows that this is going to end. He knows that eventually, he needs to let her go, like Sam.

She didn’t know what to say and honestly, there is nothing she could say that would make it less real, less painful.  
  
“Sammy has a girlfriend, you know that?” She tried to change the subject and she could see that it worked because the corner of Dean’s lips curved up into a smile.  
  
“No way, he doesn’t.”  
  
“Yes way! He’s secretive though. Didn’t even tell me her name. Well, I didn’t really ask, but still..”  
  
“That cheeky bastard!” Dean laughed out loud, as if he’s the proudest brother to ever walk the earth.

“Ready for your present?” She asked as soon as they stepped into their room.  
  
Dean toed off his boots and crawled into the comfy bed. “What present? It’s  _your_  birthday, not mine.” He mumbled as he positioned himself on the top of the bed, resting his back on the headboard and turned on the TV.  
  
“I know but you’ve been a very good boy and I want to give you something in return.” She smiled cheekily as she too, got rid of her shoes and climbed onto the bed, crawling her way to Dean.  
  
He smiles as he draws her into a kiss, his hand lingered on her cheeks and then he broke the kiss to look at her. “I have something for you too.”  
  
She sat back on her heels at the comment. “But you just gave me Sammy! It was more than I could have wished for.”  
  
He just shrugged with a smirk on his face. “Do you want it now?”  
  
She shook her head and smiled. “No, yours first.”

Before Dean could even protest and tell her that it’s her first or nothing, she was on him, her soft lips brushing against his and he held on to her tightly, pulling her closer by the back of her neck, his other hand roaming her body because he could never get enough of it.  
  
She licked at his bottom lip, as if she wanted to tell him to open up for her and when he did, she slid her tongue in, exploring the inside of his mouth and he could still taste the sweet desert she had and with the sweetness of this kiss, Dean could easily lose himself in the moment.  
  
When she broke the kiss and ran her hands down his body, he knew what she wanted to do and he bit down on his bottom lip, his eyes traveling down to the place where her hands meet his body.  
  
She grins as she began to unbuckle his belt and he wanted to tell her to stop but he knew that there’s no stopping her. If she is something, then it’s stubborn.   
  
Her fingers quickly unbuttoned his pants, and then she pulled down his zipper before she hooked her fingers into the seam of his jeans and yanked them down harshly.  
  
“Easy there, tiger!” He hushed her. “I’d like to keep my - ”  
  
“A little help would be nice, you know?” She cut him off, almost frustrated already as she looked at him and who is he to deny her the help she needs?

He lifted his hips, letting her drag down his pants and she helped him getting rid of them, taking his socks off in the process before she threw everything next to the bed. Dean took the opportunity to rid himself of his shirt and tossed it onto the pile.  
  
She mouthed her way down his navel and then she licked at his now so, so hard dick through the fabric of his boxer shorts and Dean thought that his cock just got a little bit harder, if that was possible at all.  
  
She’d never done this, at least to him and he sure hoped that she didn’t do it with anyone else, because he’d fucking rip that boys lungs out if she had. He’d never requested it from her and he didn’t want to pressure her into something she doesn’t want to do. Dean was happy with the way things were and now, his heart might burst with excitement.  
  
He loves everything about her and the cheeky smile she sends him now, as she frees his dick from his boxers, is to die for.  
  
His cock sprang free from its confides, slapping wetly against his stomach, it’s so hard by now, Dean thinks that he could cut glass with it, if he wanted to.  
  
“Y-you don’t have to, you know.” He whispered as his breathing got heavier.  
  
“I know.” She laid down and nestled herself in between his thighs and looks up to him, her nose inches from his throbbing cock that jerks towards her breathing.  
  
She took it into her hands, her grip firmly around the base as her tongue darted out to twirl at the head, spreading around the pre-cum and saliva and Dean fucking needed to bite down on his lips to not cum right here and then.  
  
When she sealed her lips around the tip and began to suck, she looked up at him and Dean thinks that he let out a squeal. He couldn’t tell, he was so far gone and his ear was pulsating to the rhythm of his heartbeat.  
  
She took out the head, and licked along the shaft, over and over, before she took him in again and this time, she went as far as her throat would allow and fuck, Dean gripped at the bedsheet and trying everything not to blow.  
  
“Jesus!” He breathed out as she came up for air. “Fuck, you’re going to be the death of me.”  
  
She just smiled and went to town again, taking him in and stroke the rest of his dick that she can’t fit into her mouth. It’s all sloppy and sometimes she uses too much teeth but it’s perfect because it’s her. His hand found her head, holding the hair away from her face for him to be able to see her better.  
  
And then when she cradles his balls with her other hand, Dean thought that he’d lose it completely. She massaged them in the palms of her tiny hand and every now and then, her hand would slip and her fingers would rub against his rim. Dean’s eyes rolled back at the sensation of her mouth on him and her hands on his dick and balls, and threw his head back.  
  
“Shit. I’m cumming.” He puffed out a warning, giving her time and allowing her to pull off him but she didn’t. She just kept bobbing her head in a slowly rhythm. Her suction milking him for what he’s worth and Dean’s toe curled up, his hand cramped around her head and he tried not to push his hip up and choke her, when he came with her name on his lips.  
  
She came up, licking her lips and her fingers pushing the cum back into her mouth that leaked at the corner of it. And fuck, if she’s not sexy as hell, he doesn’t know what is.

“Fuck, you shouldn’t have.” He breathed out, his body going lax as he sank further down in bed, his chest heaving with every breath he took.  
  
“I wanted to,” She smiled “besides, I like it.” She laid herself next to him, resting her head on his chest as he let his fingers run up and down her arm. He was sure that she could feel how fast his heart was beating and he might be a bit embarrassed.

He pecked the top of her head before he let it fall back and he fucking just needed a moment to come down as he stared up at the ceiling.  
  
“Do you want your present?” He asked her after a while of silence, as he looked down and then she tilts her head and the smile said it all.  
  
“You gotta go get it. I can’t walk.” He joked and she was out of the bed in no time.  
  
“Where?”  
  
“In my duffel. It’s a little box.”  
  
She walked to his bag to get it and then she was back, kneeling by his side, holding the box in her hand.  
  
“Open it.” He said as he pulled the sheet up to cover himself.  
  
He watched as she opened up the box and then her hands flew to her mouth and Dean couldn’t help but smile.  
  
“It’s yours.” She mumbled behind her hand.  
  
“I made it smaller so it would fit you.”  
  
“But it’s John’s. He gave it to you.”  
  
“And I want you to have it.”  
  
She took the ring out of its box and put in on her finger, it fits like a glove and Dean breathed out a sigh of relieve.  
  
“Thank you!” She attacked him, her hands flew behind his head as she kissed him with the mouth that was on him seconds ago but Dean certainly didn’t mind. He pulled her on top of him, kissing her as if his life depends on it.  
  
“And there’s another present.” He whispered as they parted, their forehead resting against each other as their breathing mingled.  
  
“Oh, boy, you spoil me tonight.” She whispered back and he could smell the cum in her mouth and strangely, it turned him on.  
  
“You’ve got no idea.” He chuckles, turning himself around, with her still in his arms so that he was on top of her now. “My next present it to make you cum too. And then again. And again…and then…well, you get the picture.”  
  
“Dean!” She giggled and she didn’t know if she should be afraid or excited.  
  
“Yeah, I want to hear you scream that later, sweetheart.” He grinned as he mouthed his way down her body.


	20. Chapter 20

The acceptance letters came pouring in and she didn’t know if she should jump for joy or cry her heart out.  
  
On one hand, she was so happy about it. Happy, that a University was interested in having her there, attending their courses and live on their campus. But on the other hand, she was so sad that the time with Dean will come to an end. Because even if she wanted one thing, she didn’t want for the other thing to happen. At all.

She qualified for a Jefferson Scholarship at the University of Virginia. Full tuition and even expenses are covered. It was something she can’t and won’t decline. Her future is taking her to Virginia and it’s so, _so_ far away from Kansas.  
  
She didn’t tell Dean yet but John knows. She was straight with John and even though he wasn’t really happy about it, he knew better than to stand in her way. It was as if he didn’t want to make the same mistake he did with Sam. He didn’t want to be mad at her. He didn’t want to fight and so, he will just let her go and hope that one day, maybe, she’ll come back.

Of course she wanted to tell Dean. She just never found the right moment to do so.

“John left again?” She came out of the bathroom wearing Dean’s old Zeppelin shirt and panties, her hair all ruffled and wet.  
  
Dean sat on the couch, zapping through the channels but she could see that he wasn’t interested and when she looked closer, she could see his bulge straining against his jeans.  
  
They were at it but got interrupted when John came home unexpectedly. Dean threw on his jeans and she disappeared into the bathroom, taking a shower that would hopefully cool her down and take her mind off things.  
  
“He went to get a blade, or a book. I don’t really know.” Dean mumbled, and this time he looked at her and she saw the longing in his eyes.  
  
“A blade _or_ a book?”  
  
“I have no clue! Fuck, I didn’t even listen! My dick is straining against my fly and all I could think about was you showering in there and then there’s me, trying to talk to my dad while you probably rub one off.”  
  
She laughed out loud as she strolled over to where he was sitting.  
  
“And it doesn’t help that you look sexy as hell coming out of there.” He almost purred as she was standing in front of him.  
  
“Is that so? In this old shirt?”  
  
“It does things to me. Sexier than any little black dress, let me tell you.” He grinned mischievously before he laid himself down on the couch. “Come here.” He signaled with his hand for her to walk closer.  
  
“Sit on my face.” He looked up at her with such big beautiful eyes that she almost didn’t have a heart to tell him no.  
  
“Dean..”  
  
“Do it.” He growled and when his hand found her thigh, he pulled her closer. Dean could smell the fresh smell of soap and lotion on her and if this doesn’t turn him on even more, he’d be lying.   
  
Y/N rolled her eyes and let out a sigh but he’s not paying attention because he hoisted her up so her crotch was hovering above his face. He licked his lips and with shaking hands, Dean pushed her panties to the side, his knuckles brushing against her folds and he felt that she was so wet. “You‘re already wet. I haven’t even touched you yet.”  
  
“Well, maybe you were right about me rubbing one off in the showers.” She looked down and smirked and then it was Dean’s turn to roll his eyes.  
  
His hands gripped around her hips, pulling her closer down to meet his awaiting mouth and he almost couldn’t wait to have her on him. Dean writhed underneath her, his hold on her stronger, pulling her pink delicious lips towards his.  
  
“Shit.” She breathed out and honest to god, she can’t deny how good it felt.  
  
Dean’s mouth was sealed around her lips as he sucked and lapped at her folds and when she looked down, she saw him looking up at her and she could swear that he was smiling at her through his eyes.

Her fingers threaded through his hair, tugging lightly and messing them up as she grips at them while she ground down on his face. And then Dean had trouble breathing because he had his nose buried in her cunt but he didn’t mind because he just started to hum and the vibrations went through her body like electricity.  
  
“Fuck, Dean, what if John comes home.” She was so close but also she couldn’t shake the thought that John could come home anytime.  
  
“Mmmmh..” Dean just hummed some more and he shook his head, his hands pulled her further down, encouraging her to grind down on him harder.  
  
“Shit, Dean. I’m coming.” Her nails dug into his scalp and then she rocked her hips on his face, moving it to and fro while his tongue lapped at her pussy.

She felt the deep rumbling of a tidal wave in the pit of her stomach that rolled down her spine and her body spasmed as she squeezed his head in between her thighs. And if Dean’s hands wouldn’t dig into the flesh of her hips, holding her steady as she came undone above him, she was sure she would have collapsed and fell from the couch.

Just when she hopped off him and kissed his wet face, she heard the motor of John’s truck rounding up the corner.  
  
As quick as she could, she jumped up and disappeared into the bathroom, giggling, while Dean cleaned up the mess she left on his face with his shirt.

“Is Y/N out yet?” John asked when he entered the room.  
  
“Nope.” Dean said nonchalantly, hands back on the remote, switching through the channels as if he fucking cared. He’s really hard right now and he wished that John would just go away, at least for an hour or two.  
  
“Y/N? You finished in there? I need a shower!” John called out for her and she opened the door and acted as if she just finished taking a shower.  
  
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. All done now.” She smiled at John and in the back, she could see Dean rolling his eyes at her.  
  
John pushed past her, a magazine in in hand and Dean finally found a movie that was worth pretending to watch.  
  
She went and sat next to Dean, keeping her distance as John was occupied in the bathroom.  
  
“Come here.” He said, and pulled her on top so she was straddling him.  
  
“Dean! John’s just in the bathroom.” She hissed in a low voice.  
  
“He took a mag with him. Probably taking a dump before showering. We’ll have at least 15 minutes and baby, I’m so hard, I don’t think I’ll last that long.” His hand found the nape of her neck and drew her in, kissing her and she could taste herself on his tongue.  
  
And then his hand went down her body, gripping around her hips as he guided her on his bulge, making her rock on top of him.  
  
“Fuck, please let me. Please?” Dean groaned, and he was well aware that he sounded desperate but he couldn’t care less. She smirked and leaned back a little, allowing him to unbuckle his belt and take out his cock.  
  
“Condom?” She asked him, her fingers found his dick and began to stroke it.  
  
“Shit, they‘re in the drawer. Please baby, can we just..” He bit down on his bottom lip, looking at her and then it dawned on her that he knows. He knows that she’ll be leaving soon.  
  
“Dean, no.”  
  
“Maybe I can knock you up.” As soon as the words left his lips, he felt embarrassed. He didn’t know why he said it. Maybe something deep inside him wants her to stay and maybe he thinks that it’s the only way she’s going to stay with him.  
  
“You wish.”

She frowned at first but then her frown turned into a smile and then she thought that it would be fun if she played along. She lifted her hips until the tip of his dick was toying at her entrance and Dean’s dick jerked after it, chasing the wonderful and tight release of his desire. And then, just like that, she sank down on him, and Dean‘s finger dug deeper into the flesh of her hips as her tight channel closes around his cock.  
  
“Fuck.” He mumbled, biting down on his lips and when she started to bounce on him, he could feel his toes curling up, digging themselves into the carpet.  
  
“Look at me, Dean.” She said and she held his head in between her hands, as she watched him. “I love you.”

Dean wanted to say something but he couldn’t. Her pussy’s making him delirious and he was just lost in the warmth and fuck, it felt perfect.  
  
She held his gaze as she bounced on him, gyrating her hips in a figure eight and then she squeezed her inner walls and Dean was almost gone. “Fuck, get off. I’m coming.” He panted hard. He didn’t want her to get off but he couldn’t risk it and it really didn’t matter how bad he would love to knock her up so she would stay. He knew that it would be wrong and he wants her off but she just remained on him, her eyes still fixed on his.  
  
Dean’s eyes fluttered close, his jaw started to clench and then his plump lips parted with a silent scream of her name when he came.

She loved watching him come undone. He was so beautiful and that moment when he comes, with a groan on his lips and a sparkle in his eyes before he squeezes them shut, that’s the time he’s most vulnerable. She had tears in her eyes as she watched him and when he came down from his high, he just held her, comforting her.  
  
“I know about college.” He whispered, kissing her tears away.  
  
She got off him, and put her panties back in place as he too, put his spent cock back in his jeans before he held her again.  
  
“I’m sorry.” She choked out in between sobs.  
  
“Don’t be. I’m happy that you can go. And hey, college is not bad at all. Didn’t even know that you’re smart enough for a scholarship.” He tries to chuckle but it came out all wrong.  
  
“Well, maybe you don’t have to go after all. I’m pretty sure I knocked you up.” He tries to joke again but who is he kidding and maybe it shouldn’t sound that wrong but it did. Right about now, he‘s willing to do anything for her to stay and he thinks that he‘s never been so selfish in his life.  
  
“Shut up, Dean. I’m on the pill.” She looked up to him and maybe Dean was wrong but he saw her smirk. She really did outsmart him and Dean doesn’t know if he should be offended or proud.

“And you’re really not ashamed of taking your brother to your prom?” Dean asked again as he buttoned up the rented tux.

“Dean, would you be happy if I asked someone else?” She looked into the mirror, her eyes meeting his.

“No. I’d rip his lungs out.”

“That’s what I thought. Nobody had asked me to the prom as I didn’t really make new friends and besides,” She turned around now, her lips blood red and delicious. “no one knows that you’re my brother.”

“Fun.” Dean tried to hide his joy but he was sure that she knows because his probably grinning like an idiot.

At the prom, the girls were swooning around Dean and maybe she should have claimed her territory but that’s just not who she was; so while Dean was playing nice and talked to the popular girls, she went to get something to drink.

Dean watch as she walked away and he really just wanted to hold her back and his eyes were pleading with her to get him out of this misery but she just giggled and winked at him as she made her way to the bar.

The girls were chatting, throwing questions at him that he didn’t care to answer and honestly, he didn’t really listen because he was watching her.

“Hey, Y/N. Wow!” Ron was smiling at her.

“Hey.” So a guy who never talks to her suddenly acknowledged her when she dresses up slutty. What a surprise.

“So..uh.. fuck! You cleaned up nice. You’re smoking!” She rolled her eyes as Ron had troubles wording his thoughts.

“I’m just taking it as a compliment, then. Thanks.” She was about to turn around when they got interrupted.

“He’s right. And hey,” Dean stared Ron down “she’s mine.”

“Chill dude.” Ron snarled but then he walked off, offended.

“Hey.” She smiled up at Dean who had his arm around her waist now, pulling her closer.

“Hey.” He bent down, kissing her gently.

“How did you get away?” She asked curiously.

“Uh.. well, Torry, I don’t even know if it’s her name, apparently wanted to drag me into the janitors closet because she told Jenny-whats-her-name about her plans, but then Jenny was not ok with the idea, which in turn made Torry mad and now they’re fighting and I kinda seized my moment and stepped away.” He looked back and saw them still in a heated argument. “Let’s go before they see me!” He took her hand and she couldn’t stop laughing at the situation.

“Care for a dance?” He asked her as he pulled her behind him onto the dance floor and she couldn’t protest because now they were in the middle and Dean had his arms around her as he swayed to the music.

“Mr. Winchester, you don’t dance.” She smiled up at him, because it was true. She couldn’t remember that she’d ever seen him dance.

“Hey, it’s your prom and I can dance if I want to.” He looked down, and somehow he managed a smile, even though he wanted to cry. He would give her anything and more and even though he hated proms and everything about it, but he wished that the night would never end.

Dean offered to drive her to Virginia but she declined.  
  
“Don’t make it harder than it already is.” She sat next to him in the car as they parked at the bus station. “Dean?”  
  
Before he could say anything, she moved over to his side, invading his space and straddled him under her as she kissed him and Dean squeezed his eyes shut as he kissed her back. He didn’t want to cry and it took all of him to swallow down his tears.  
  
He held her tight, his hand went around her back and one of them rest on the back of her head as he pulled her down and he kissed her again, cherishing the moment and if he could, he would crawl into her.   
  
She parted from him but was not ready to let him go just yet. And then she plastered his face with little kisses. His face got all and he didn’t even know if the tears were hers or his. And frankly, he just didn’t care anymore.  
  
“Come with me.” She pecked his lips before she looked at him, her tears running down her cheeks that he brushed away with his thumb. “We could go together. Start a new life. Get away from hunting.” Her voice broke and she was sobbing now.  
  
As much as he wanted to, as much as he would be willing to leave everything behind to follow her, he can’t. Virginia was hers to conquer, not his. It’s her life and future that she wants to shape and rebuilt, not his. And even if it hurts so much, he didn’t want to stand in her way.

If he would follow her, there would be nothing for him there. Sure, she would be there, and that counts a lot, but he would just hold her back and that’s not something he wants for her. She needs to do this on her own and he was sure that if Sam could make it out there, she certainly will, too.  
  
“I can’t.” He just said, his voice was shaking.  
  
“Please, Dean. I can’t do it without you.” She sobbed into the crook of his neck.  
  
“Baby, you can and you will. You’re so strong.” He held her face in his hands, making her look at him. “Look at me.” Her face was all puffy and red but still it was the most beautiful face he’d ever seen.  
  
“I love you. Very much. Don’t forget about that.”  
  
“I could never.” She interrupted.  
  
“I know, but I just wanted to make sure that do remember.” He chuckled lightly but his heart was heavy.  
  
“Will you come and see me?” Although she knows the answer, she just needs to hear it.  
  
“Anytime. Just call and I’ll be there.” He brushed away the strand of hair that fell into her face and tucked it behind her ear.  
  
“I love you.” She kissed him again, softly, and he swallowed down the lump in his throat.  
  
“Now go, your bus is leaving.”  
  
She kissed him one last time before she took her bag from the backseat. Dean got out of the car and watched her walk over to the bus station where her bus was already waiting for departure.  
  
He waited there, watching her as she got in and took a window seat so she could see him.  
  
A last wave, a last kiss blown at him and then, she was gone…

 

_Little did she know that a couple years from now, she’ll be catapulted back into the life she wanted to escape, when Dean and Sam would come knocking in the middle of the night, telling her that John’s been missing.._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, babes. I’m terribly sad about it and I hope some of you are too. I was thinking that I’m willing to do time stamps on this story. If I’m doing time stamps, would you read it? And if yes, what do you want to read about? Please let me know what you think? And now Imma go and cry my eyes out.


End file.
